Listen to Tyne Daly singing Balding Pudendum!

Thank you Liz!!!!



The lyrics to Balding Pudendum

Once apon a time
A lady of a certain age
Sat in her boudoir alone and blue
And she sang as she sat
And gazed apon her nakedness
I've got a balding pudendum
I do.

Balding pudendum
Balding pudendum
I've got a balding pudendum I do
And she sang as she sat
And she gazed apon her nakedness
I've got a balding pudendum
Do you?

Up shot the lady
Filled with existential angst
What are these changes I'm going through?
I have botoxed and lipoed
And battled against cellulite
Yet I've got a balding pudendum
Do you?

Balding pudendum
Balding pudendum
I've got a balding pudendum you too?
I have botoxed and lipoed
And battled against cellulite
And yet I have pubes
You can clearly see through.

Seeking perfection
I have bleached and dieted
I have pushed my age back to 33
I've brazil-waxed
I've exlaxed
I've puked until my gums turned blue
Now I've got a balding pudendum
Who knew?

Nobody told me
Nobody warned me
Warned me my muff
Wouldn't be there to chew
And of all the appalling
Upsetting things that aging brings
Oh I've got a balding pudendum
Boo hoo.

Men have the power
Men have got the confidence
Men have viagra to see them through
Men get the girlfriend
To tell them bald is beautiful
All I've got is a balding pudendum
Fungoo.

You and your brother
You and your father
Don't even bother
And don't miscontrue
You can take your opinions
And stick them up your sagging asses
I'll keep my balding pudendum
Fuck you.