THE WEEKEND WRAP-UP, ROSIE'S TEENAGE BLUES AND CALLS ABOUT RAISING TEENS
Rosie started the show talking about the weather and how she doesn't like it because it's so cold outside. Jeannie and Bobby love the crisp fall weather. Rosie is bummed that she can't lay by her pool and get sun anymore so she resorted to laying on her children's trampoline this weekend to get some much needed rays. Janette is thankful that Rosie can't lay outside in those "lethal beams" any longer.
Jeannie and her husband went to a party on Saturday night but were only able to say 45 minutes because their babysitter called and their youngest was crying due to an ear infection. Jeannie took him to a Pediatric center that is open in the evenings and got him on antibiotics and he was better by Sunday. Jeannie also cooked for her family this weekend. She said she cooked skirt-steak with mashed potatoes, acorn squash and green beans. Jeannie loves to cook and she said that cooking would be her hobby if she had more free time. Jeannie said she cooks the acorn squash with brown sugar, butter and maple syrup. Janette recommended a low-fat soup recipe where you first bake tomatoes, red peppers and onions on a baking sheet and them throw them in a blender and add chicken stock. She said it's extremely low calorie and a great way to get your vegetables! Janette said she's thinking about getting a Vitamix Blender. Rosie said that her son Parker drinks a Naked Green drink which she said seemed like something you would drink only if you were being punished.
Pete made eggplant pizza this weekend but not for himself. Rosie thinks there's no reason to eat eggplant EVER. Pete said there is a reason for his wife to eat it and it's because it induces labor! He said they are officially DONE being pregnant and hoping the new baby comes soon. Janette suggested sending him home with a jump-rope as a gift. Jeannie was 11 days late with her third baby and her OBGYN did something in the office internally to her that caused her to go into labor that night.
Speaking of babies, Rosie watched 16 and Pregnant this weekend with her teenage daughter who had been talking about the fantasy of having a baby. Rosie mentioned how it's hard for her kids, who have always grown up with money, to realize the true cost of having a baby. She and Chelsea have been having a lot of yelling fights in the car lately too. She wondered what are the mental capacities of 13 year olds to understand. She also vented about the frustrations of raising a teenager and trying to lead her in the right direction without shame and hurting her self-esteem. Rosie asked listeners to call in and talk about how you tell a 13 year old girl, who is boy obsessed, that she's not allowed to date. Jeannie, who has been through this with her own daughter, told Rosie that she can tell her that but warned it will only make her daughter sneakier and sneakier. Jeannie made it clear that she didn't think Chelsea was old enough to date but she didn't think forbidding it will change her behavior either. Rosie said they've already changed her daughter's environment to make it more difficult for her to talk to boys. Rosie said it's still shocking to her every time she finds out that her daughter has done something sneaky behind her back. Tracy, Rosie's girlfriend, has been through these young teen years and isn't surprised by it at all.
Jeannie said that is because she and Rosie thought they would be cool moms and that they would have different relationships with their kids than they had with their parents. The first time Jeannie found out her daughter deceived her she cried like a baby. She said the problem with Jeannie and Rosie is their teens don't fear them enough like they feared their parents. Jeannie thinks she and Rosie have tried to be friends and reason too much with their teens. Rosie agreed that Chelsea is not afraid of her either.
Rosie took several calls on the topic. One listener was a mother trying to save her daughter from herself. Her daughter was in middle school and a victim of social pressure and also girls being nasty to each other. Then she started sneaking out and getting high. She said they tried taking away everything and just recently put her in a treatment center for drugs. Jeannie said she once kidnapped her own daughter and shipped her off to her father's house to try to save her from any social influences that were effecting her behavior. She said it worked for a while but those pressures soon came back. Another listener is the mother of twin daughters who are now 17. She never allowed them to date at 13 and 14 but she did allow them to go out with boys in a group setting.
Rosie expressed concerns that her daughter seems "boy crazy" and that she's rushing to be older than she is. Rosie has laid down the law with her and told her she can hate her and once she's 18 years old she can move out and never talk to her again. But basically, she's felt horrible all weekend. Rosie also told Chelsea that when she can be responsible and honest she can start dating when she's 15 or 16. She doesn't really feel like allowing Chelsea to date is an option for her right now. Jeannie told Rosie that she needs to be clear about the definition of "dating" and she needs to be clear on what the consequences are. One caller's daughter was secretly having sex with a boy every morning before school. She later learned her daughter had bi-polar disorder and she was taking the wrong medication. She had her daughter tested for all the STDs and she found out that that was what truly scared her out of that destructive behavior. She was also frustrated that none of the consequences they are giving as parents are having an impact on their teens behavior. She recommended the book Parenting Without Pressure
to Rosie and Rosie said she would look into it and thanked her for the call. Rosie took several more callers who commiserated with Rosie over her situation and had been through similar things themselves. Rosie said after she told Chelsea that she will spend no time alone because she cannot be trusted; the next thing she knew Chelsea was outside having fun with her brothers and sister. She said it is almost like she craves the boundaries even though she can't stay in them. She also said she seemed relieved that she couldn't date. Rosie said she and Kelli are also facing another issue with Chelsea. Chelsea seems to think she and Kelli know nothing about teenage boys and their motivations because they are gay.
PUMPKIN CONTEST, SHAWSHANK HOMEWORK, HANGOVER 2 AND WIENER PICTURES
Rosie asked all her listeners to go to the Martha Stewart Living Radio Pumpkin Contest and vote for your favorite pumpkin! Rosie described all the entries in the contest to the listening audience. The Rosie Radio pumpkins that have been entered are Janette's decoupaged pumpkin and Bobby's Snowman pumpkin. Rosie was very impressed with the "caterpillar pumpkin" and worried that they might lose to it. Brendan found it interesting that all the pumpkins that Rosie didn't like were all done by Martha Stewart radio hosts! In the end, Rosie said she thinks Bobby's can win!
. Everyone watched it and Jeannie commented how she had forgotten how great it was. They played the music from the scene when the classical music is played over the loud speakers in the courtyard. Rosie said she heard that Mel Gibson has a cameo in the movie Hangover 2. Rosie has never seen Hangover 1 but said she heard it was hysterical. She loves the actor Zach Galifianakis from The Hangover and It's Kind of a Funny Story. She fell in love with him during the trailer for "It's Kind of a Funny Story." Bobby and Pete described the movie "The Hangover" to Rosie. Rosie wanted to know what everyone thought about the fact that Mel has a cameo in the next Hangover. Janette strongly believes that you cannot judge a person for what you do in your private life and therefore she will not judge him for it. Bobby agreed. This then got them on the topic that it's been rumored that Mel has emailed around a picture of his wiener. (I'm not googling that so you're on your own here). Rosie wondered what prompts a man to send out a picture of their wiener and if sending out a wiener picture is a common thing? She asked all the men in the studio and they all denied ever doing it. Brendan flipped it and said he never understood what was hot about receiving a photo of a girl's parts either. To which Janette wondered how a man feels about receiving "a stray beave." (as in beaver)
This then led to a brief discussion about how the actress who played the mother in Leave It to Beaver passed away this weekend. Rosie and Jeannie couldn't believe she even was still alive!
Janette briefly read an article that stated that an ATM screen is 18 times dirtier than a public toilet. Janette has been known to use her skirt to open doors to avoid having to touch the handle. Bobby and Jeannie don't bother the germs as much and believe it only improves their ability to fight off disease.
CONTROVERSY OVER BEING GAY BEING A CHOICE
Rosie then wanted to discuss the Republican running for Senate in Colorado, Ken Buck, who recently went on television stating that being gay is a choice. Watch the video below:
Rosie can't believe people are still saying that being gay is a choice and wondered who would choose to be discriminated against. She compared it to straight people choosing to be straight. Janette doesn't believe you can choose to be gay (and she's tried) and she believes that you are born to be who you are born to be. Bobby said if being gay were a choice why would all those teens have committed suicide? He asked if being gay were a choice why would they have killed themselves? For them, death seemed like the better option. Janette doesn't believe it's a choice but said if it was who cares?! She said she doesn't care what people do in the bedroom and doesn't think others should either. Bobby explained it is important for gay people to have the biological or genetic backing behind homosexuality because if it's just known as a just a choice, anti-gay supporters will use that as a reason to criticize and demean their lifestyle. Rosie believes that a lot of the loudest and most prominent anti-gay spokespeople are probably secretly gay themselves!
Rosie took a call from a mom who is of the Mormon faith who wanted Rosie to know that she's a supporter of gays and lesbians. She told Rosie that she supports being gay and she is grateful for Rosie and all she does. Rosie thanked her for her phone-call and asked her how practicing Mormom's feel about the show Sister Wives. The caller said it "makes their stomachs turn."
Rosie went to commercial playing the song below that was done by Broadway performers for the It Gets Better Project. The song is available on Itunes and all proceeds go to The Trevor Project.
NAME A MOVIE GAME
During this game Brendan named a genre of movies and each player had to name a movie in that genre as fast as they could. It was lightning fast! If they didn't name a movie they didn't get a point. The player with the most points won.
-The first movie was COMEDY.
Rosie said Funny Girl
Bobby said Hangover
Janette drew a blank
Jeannie said Airplane
Pete said Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
-The second category was SCIENCE FICTION.
Bobby said Star Wars
Janette said Avatar
Jeannie drew a blank
Pete said Contact
Rosie said star trek
-The third category was DRAMA
Jeannie said Gone With the Wind
Janette said Sherlock Holmes
Pete said Good Will Hunting
Rosie said Ordinary People
Bobby said Sophie's Choice
-The fourth category was MUSICAL
-The fifth category was CARTOON.
After the 5 speed rounds were over Bobby and Rosie were 5 for 5. Then it was time for the speed round. The category was HORROR and they went back and forth naming horror movies until Rosie started making them up and Bobby won the game! Bobby is a huge fan of horror movies and excited to go see Paranormal Activity 2. He was worried "Paranormal Activity 1" was real after he saw it. Pete said he needed to wait until the credits ran after seeing the Blair Witch Project to convince himself that movie wasn't real.
Rosie closed the show talking about how much she needs a new Glee tomorrow after all the teenage stuff she went through this weekend.
and that's what you missed -kw
Posts
Hmm....I totally as a 28 year old who is a virgin and never dated cannot relate to the no-dating rules and being boy crazy. I was so terrified of the idea of dating and my own sexuality, and I don't even know what it means for a 13 year old to date? What is not being allowed? What would 13 year olds who date do? I know I have my own crazy issues, but I think it's crazy that boys and girls can't be friends without calling it dating. I remember the cool kids in school who announced they were dating in middle school, but not being friends with them, I don't know what that entailed. I was friends with a lot more girls than boys, as I was more comfortable with them (I'm a guy, who is maybe gay, but confused). I think setting up these no dating rules just sets up a cat and mouse game. It reminds me of when I was at the pool and I saw some little girl (maybe 3 or 4) wearing a two piece bikini type thing. She kept jumping into the pool and her top would ride up. The father would yell at her, "Pull it down, pull it down!" And it struck me as the most ridiculous thing. Wearing a swimsuit at all was more of an attempt in my mind at sexualizing a child, but that could be because I grew up part of my childhood in Sweden where children until they had their own sense of modesty would be nude most of the summers at the beaches. It probably doesn't seem totally related to the issue of dating, but it kind of is in my mind. Telling a 13 year old they can't date seems like telling a 3 or 4 year old they need to wear a bikini top. It's sort of giving them a bigger idea of what they can't do than what they are capable of doing or being in the first place. It would be like if you sat your kids down and said "No prostitution," which only introduces that idea. Maybe I am naive, but I feel like no dating rules might introduce more ideas than are already in the kids' heads. Maybe Rosie has more assumptions/worries about what her daughter being friends with a boy means than her daughter does. I don't know. It just seems to me that when you take it so seriously, it will probably become more serious. I hope I make some sense.
ReplyDeleteSadly, I don't think there is new Glee tomorrow. So nice to see that the super adorable and talented Matt Doyle is in that "It Gets Better" video! He wrote a touching blog entry about his experience with bullying way back in May. Thanks for the great recap, Kelly W.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Marcus. I think Chelsea and other 13 year olds need to define what "dating" is to them and their peers. Going on group outings at that age seems natural and safe.
ReplyDeleteAt some point you have to trust your child, but also guide them in the right direction without pushing them into the wrong one. Maybe having the group outing at your house where you can monitor her behavior or be the adult that goes with the group to the movies. You could even take the group of kids to pizza and get your own booth but still be able to "watch" the activity.
To a lot of kid's dating means. Oral sex. That's "NOT" sex to them.
ReplyDeleteI hope that kids realize having a kid is not a game. No toy or baby sitting will help when a girl/boy want to have sex. They don't think they want to but end up having it.
I feel bad, Rosie's has her hands full 13 is tough.
I knew I was gay at that age. I dated a boy because my mom was happy with that.
He of couse had to show me his "peepee". Yikes I thought I would faint, what a horrible looking thing,LOL!!!!
Lord I glad I'm a lesbian, LMFAO!
For those who don't currently have teenagers, it's completely different and crazy these days. Girls very casually engage in oral and anal sex, and so much more than I even know. Facebook and internet, tv shows all make it seem expected and part of the game.
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry for Rosie and anyone else in the situation. I have teenage boys who are nerds thank goodness, but they tell me stuff! Rosie really should stop yelling at Chelsea though, very unhelpful and will only turn her away. I wonder if Kelly deals with her better, she seems calmer!
Just for the record I did NOT choose to be gay. And if you can "pray away" gay - there is no possible way I would be gay now. The only choice we get is to accept how we were created or live a lie. People who are not gay have no business thinking they know why we are. We DO know.
ReplyDeleteAs always - thanks for the update Kelly!
Telling a 13 year old child that they can not be trusted is not the wisest choice of words. Nothing like setting up a self fulfilling prophecy. Child thinks, They don't trust me, what difference does it make then, so I might as well do x y and z.
ReplyDeleteI know that Rosie is just desperate for my personal opinion on what to do about Chelsea, so here it is:
ReplyDeleteShe should let Chelsea start to go out on group hang-outs with girls and boys (ones that are structured - going to DO something, not "we'll all hang out in a basement for five hours"). Now (or earlier) is also the time to talk to her with specifics about birth control, STIs, personal and inter-personal sexuality, etc. (which I'd be surprised if Rosie and Kelli aren't already doing a bit) so that all of this stuff can be running through Chelsea's head BEFORE she starts needing to implement it - as she moves through this world.
Because really, here's the thing: now is all about guiding Chelsea into learning to make HER OWN wise choices about her life. Not that she should be set free to do whatever she wants. But she should have enough gradual autonomy to wade slowly into these waters that she will eventually navigate alone. Just like teaching kids to make their own bed or ride a bike, they need to gradually learn how (with training wheels) to do this confidently themselves.
I don't think it's a good idea to just say "you can date at 16" because she needs to develop a natural comfort in the various stages of this world and be confident and in control at every stage. Plunging her into the deep end at age 16 is just a recipe for intense and maybe moving-too-fast dating because the teenager doesn't have the solid footing of experience, to be in control and tap the breaks if she wants to. She might feel especially pressured if she's far behind everyone else - and rush too fast. Thirteen is too young for sex. But it's not too young for a kiss, a "do you think he/she likes me?", a quadruple 'date' at Olive Garden for lunch at the mall before a movie.
In other words, I recommend allowing her to wade in to dating - very gradually, over the course of years, in stages, with clear boundaries at every step. Even though teen romance and sexuality is scary and can have big consequences, it is also a really important part of her development that she should be guided through. She should also know and trust the kids that Chelsea's hanging out with, and at a certain point - trust Chelsea.
Life for a 13 year old isn't like it was 30 or even 15 years ago. When *I* was 13, the closest thing to sex that was on most of our minds, was to look it up in the dictionary, or read _Little Darlings_ or _Forever_. Kids today are inundated with sexual images - it is no wonder they are making out at 13. When I was 13, I worried about whether a boy would hold my HAND!
ReplyDeleteOn an entirely different topic - love the recap, Kelly. Especially the PINK!
: ) P
I absolutely love Janette's pumpkin - it is gorgeous. Too bad the site won't let me vote more than once - I tried!
ReplyDelete