12-10-10 The Holidays, Gift Giving and the Hilarious Judy Gold!

In case you missed it...

HOLIDAY STAFF PARTIES, JANETTE'S PAST WITH MEN AND JACKIE SPORTS A NIGHTIE
Rosie and the staff began today's broadcast talking about the holidays.  Everyone in the studio couldn't believe it was almost Christmas and no one is really ready.  Janette is decorating her house this weekend for Christmas and is excited to get her heirloom decorations out.  James told a story about a Christmas party he went to recently where one particular female made a complete fool out of herself after drinking too much alcohol.  He said she's a very nice girl but she got so drunk she was doing everything but dancing on the table.  Shoshana said she once went to a work party for KidRo Productions where people were party-goers and they took off their bras!  Rosie remembered the party but admitted she never really stays long at those.  She said she isn't much of a party-goer and usually just goes for a little while, says hello and then leaves.  Rosie said there are two kinds of departments in KidRo - the production side and the artistic side and when they mix it makes for an interesting group dynamic.

This then started a discussion of work party etiquette.  Janette said she got pretty drunk at a couple of "old" office parties (I think she was referring to the days of The Rosie O'Donnell Show).  Rosie said she doesn't have a lot of patience for social functions and asked if that was normal.  Everyone thought it was and agreed they don't like to schmooze with people they don't know very well.   

Somehow the conversation came around to how Janette used to troll for men.  Rosie couldn't even imagine ever doing that.  Janette said she met lots of men on the subway and recommended it to single listeners.  Shoshana asked Janette if she ever feared for her life in any of the "dating" circumstances she put herself in and she said she did not, but Rosie did!  Rosie totally feared for Janette's life!  She said Janette used to fly to Europe to meet strangers she met online and it gave Rosie such panic!  Janette said she had such low self-esteem growing up and when she got to an age that she appreciated herself and her power over men, she used it to her advantage.  Shoshana feels like Janette is lucky to be alive!  When Jeannie was in high school and college she said she made a lot of mistakes with boys.  Rosie said Jeannie was very popular and sexy and all the boys wanted her in high school.  Jeannie wasn't so sure about that  but she said she had such low self-esteem that when she realized she could totally have power over guys with sex she used that.  But she always felt bad afterward. 

Jackie then came into the studio wearing the now infamous peach colored J.Jill nightgown that Rosie and the staff discussed on Monday's show!  Janette said it looked like a giant t-shirt and didn't think it was nearly as bad as everyone was making it out to be.  Rosie couldn't believe that Jackie felt the need to come down and ridicule at her job.   Jackie said it was Shoshana's suggestion!  Shoshana defended herself and said she didn't mean Jackie should do it while she was on the air, she just meant she should come to lunch dressed in the nightshirt.  Jackie said the other grownups at the party such as Tracy and Lois, thought Rosie's outfit was inappropriate too and it wasn't just her.  Rosie worried that she's becoming like her Nana and said if she starts smoking Chesterfields (and calling everyone Doll) everybody needs to start worrying. 

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS, THE END OF THE WORLD (AGAIN) AND CULINARY CLASS
Janette said her favorite holiday is New Years Eve because it's the holiday just for her.  She said for Christmas and Thanksgiving you have to go visit family but she gets New Years all to herself.  She likes to make a list of things she would like to accomplish in the following year on New Years but she doesn't ever really go out and go to parties.  Shoshana hates New Years because she said people have inflated  expectations of the holiday.  She said it's "forced merry-ment" and it's never as fun as you wanted it to be.  Rosie said she and her friends (who may or may not include Jackie) will watch the Oscar Screeners she's been sent. 

Pete said on May 21st, 2011, judgment day will begin and the rapture will occur.  Rosie said her new show on OWN starts in September of 2011 so she doubts that will happen.  Pete said the Bible predicts that 7000 years after the flood of Noah judgment day will occur and according to the math that's May 21st of next year.  Jeannie and Rosie (and Kelly W.) never believe any of those world ending rumors. 

The entire staff is taking a class at the Culinary Institute today!  Shoshana, Jeannie, Janette, Pete, Brendan and James are all attending!  Brendan said it all came about because of a comment Rosie made on-air about the staff learning to make something at The Culinary Institute. They heard about it and called and offered the class to the staff!  The staff will be attending a "boot camp of cooking class," they will learn about reduced fat cooking and have a cupcake-making class.  Rosie thought it sounded like fun but said she's not going because she has the kids this weekend and she doesn't like to be away from them on her weekends. 

SECRET SANTA, BEST AND WORST CHRISTMAS GIFTS, AND GIFT GIVING
The staff briefly discussed how they were going to select names for a Secret Santa at the end of today's show which will begin next week.  Then the Rosie Radio staff will be off for two weeks and back live on January 3rd, 2011. 

Janette said her cat Bismark (the hairless one that Rosie gave her years ago) is the best Christmas present she's ever received.  The worst Christmas present she ever received was many years ago from her sister Lanette.  Lanette gave her an African carving of a man with a penis that came down to his knees!  She kept the statue but only after making her sister cut "it" off.  Rosie couldn't really remember the best and worst gifts she's ever received.  She said the best things she's received are the things her kids have made for her.  And the worst Christmas she could think of was when she was growing up after her mother died and all she received was green sweaters.  Her neighbor, Mrs. Nordin, did the Christmas shopping for Rosie and her siblings after her mother died and being a bit overwhelmed with her own kids and Rosie's brothers and sister, the neighbor only bought Rosie green sweaters.  Jeannie's favorite gifts are the ones her kids get her from the PTA shop at school where the kids get to pick out a gift for their parents like a gold pin they will never wear or a little chachki of some sort.  Pete loves those gifts too and said his kids got his wife a porcelain harlequin doll this year (from the PTA Santa shop) and they got him a miniature vase/ice cream sundae bowl.  He's not sure which it is.  Rosie remembered the time her Aunt Minnie took all her siblings to the shop and her brother Timmy got Rosie something there.  He told her it was either something she could wear or something she could put outside her window.  Rosie had no clue what it could be.  It ended up being a corsage and Rosie still remembers it. 

Rosie asked if there's an age she could say no more presents on Christmas for her kids.  She said her kids have everything and they don't really need anything.  Janette said not to do it.  She said one year her father was having financial difficulties and he told his daughters they weren't exchanging presents on Christmas.  Janette didn't believe him and then on Christmas morning all that was under the tree was a Monkees album and nothing else.  Her sister bought Janette the Monkees album because she couldn't imagine not having anything for Janette to open on Christmas morning.  Rosie wanted to do what Tracy does and go shopping with her kids for another family who really needs Christmas presents.  Jeannie remembered Rosie saying years ago that even though she's doing well financially doesn't mean she doesn't like opening presents.  Rosie remembered saying that but said she wants the kids to learn at some point that Christmas is about giving and not receiving.  

JUDY GOLD

Rosie and Judy chatted like they always do.  They chatted about life, partners, being moms, standup, radio, etc.   
Judy told a hilarious story of her recent trip to Las Vegas where she performed 12 shows!  She said the theme week in Las Vegas was Rodeo week which wasn't exactly her target audience.  She said in the elevator she and her girlfriend ran into these guys with those really long drinks glasses.  One of the guys looked at them and said, "Do we look totally gay?"  (in regards to the drinks)  Judy told them of course they looked totally gay and she and her girlfriend were just talking about how totally gay they looked.  As Judy got off the elevator she told the guys to enjoy the anal!  Badumbump. 

Rosie and Judy talked about the lesbian who called in to Rosie Radio the other day who said she sleeps with a bra on when company sleeps over.  Rosie said she'd never heard of such a thing and Judy was shocked too!  Rosie told Judy that unless she's doing standup she doesn't wear a bra.  Judy asked Rosie if she ever bathes before her radio show!  Judy was recently on Dr. Oz and she and Rosie talked about that too. 

Rosie then asked Judy to tell the story of how her mom tries to explain that she and her partner had a baby together.  I found a bit of it on YouTube so check it out!



Judy is hosting a new Sirius/XM radio show about gay parenting on OutQ!  She said it will be a total of 4 shows that premieres this Saturday (12/11) at 1pm!  She said one show will be from the kids perspective, one show will be about gay marriage and the issues that come along with raising kids and not being able to get married, etc.  Cynthia Nixon is on tomorrow's show and they will be talking about marriage equality so tune in!  Judy said during one show they will talk about picking a sperm donor out of the "William Spermoma" or "Semen Marcus" catalogs.  Judy talked about her own experience picking a sperm donor and what that's been like for her kids. Vivi's biological father is also a sperm donor and Rosie has told Vivi when she's 18 years old she can meet her biological father just like her siblings who were adopted.  Judy joked about the film The Kids Are Alright and how it's a realistic scenario that the lesbian mom ends up fucking the donor.  She said it happens all the time. 

Rosie and Judy talked about the shows Sister Wives and The Duggars.   Judy just can't watch Sister Wives  anymore.  She also can't believe that the mom in the Duggar family is pregnant again with her 20th child after having a seriously premature baby.  She said you could park a truck in her vagina after having 19 kids so it's not surprising she can't keep them in there very long anymore.  She said when the Duggars go out to dinner there isn't enough room in the car for all of them so she probably just shoves them all up there (in her vagina).  Rosie said with 20 kids statistically 3 have to be gay.   

You can catch "Hatched By 2 Chicks" tomorrow on Sirius OutQ radio at 1pm EST and then every Saturday for the next month.  Rosie offered to even come on the show as a guest!  You can also catch Judy Gold at the Emilen Theater in Mamaroneck, New York on December 17th!    You can visit her website HERE. 



and just because I love her...

BOOKS VS. MOVIES AND REGIFTING
Shoshana posed the question to the staff members: Why read the book when you can watch the movie?  This horrified many of them including Janette and Bobby.  Janette was also shocked that Shoshana hadn't read many of the classics.  Shoshana said one of the reasons she hated reading in school was because she hated what she was reading.  It wasn't until she started reading books for pleasure when she realized reading could be good.  Rosie has never read many classics either and Janette couldn't believe it!  Rosie said she "cliff-noted" much of the required reading in high school.  Bobby said he was appalled by Shoshana's statement because using your own imagination when reading is so much better than just ingesting the filmmakers version of a book.  Rosie asked Janette what classic she should read first and Janette recommended The Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens.  And then?  The Good Earth by Pearl Buck.  Shoshana said she would not be taking part of that reading challenge.  Bobby said he swore off the classics after grad school.  Brendan thinks Rosie will love The Tale of Two Cities because it's similar to Les Miserables. 

Rosie wanted to know what everyone does when they get a gift they don't like.  She said her son Blake was very honest recently when she got him the wrong color of the sneakers he asked for for his birthday and she was very proud of him for speaking up.  She wasn't insulted at all.  Shoshana said she'd rather know if she got someone the wrong thing as a gift so they could return it and get what they want.   Brendan said it's about the act of giving and he doesn't want to say anything to the person if he gets something he doesn't like.   Bobby said he cannot re-gift gifts.  Pete totally does.  Rosie said people have re-gifted gifts to her and left the original card in!

Rosie feels her kids have so much there's no reason for Christmas presents this year especially because it's the first year in her house that no one believes in Santa.  For Bobby gift-giving is not about the giving or the gift it's all about the wrapping!  Rosie crowned him the gayest in the room.  Pete said the presents he wraps look like a chimp with a brain injury did it but his wife is a fantastic wrapper!  Bobby loves wrapping presents so much he once wanted to work in the wrapping department at the store. 

GAME
For this game Brendan took everyone's iPods, put them on shuffle and then gathered the first 10 songs that were listed.  The other staff members had to guess whose playlist belonged to whose iPod. 

The lists came from either Brendan, Lou, James, Bobby, Pete, Rosie, Shoshana, Janette or Deirdre. 
In the first list there were songs by Rihanna, Sublime, Skid Row, Jay-Z and Taio Cruz (a dance mix).  Everyone guessed James which was correct! 
In the second list there were songs by Pink Floyd, Filter, the James Bond theme song and Ben Folds.  They all guessed Brendan and that was correct! 
In the third list there were songs by many jazz musicians, Django Reinhardt, Gang Starr and a meditation album etc.  They guessed it was Deirdre and that was correct.  She thought the shuffle sucked because she also has non-jazz music on her iPod.
In the fourth list there was music from Bob Dylan, Kanye West and Johnny Cash.  It was Pete and they all guessed it.
In the fifth list there was music from Dusty Springfield and Boy George from Taboo.  Rosie cut off Brendan and knew right away it was Bobby.  She was correct. 
In the sixth list there was music from Pearl Jam and before they could get to the next song Rosie guessed Lou and ended it.  She was correct. 
In the seventh list there was music from Billy Joel, Jack Johnson, Chicago, Kanye West, Kelly Clarkson, Stevie Wonder, the Bee Gees, Gwen Stefani and Neil Diamond.  It was Rosie and they all guessed it. 
In the eighth list there was music from Enya, The Cranberries, world music and Pat Benatar.  They guessed it was Janette which was correct! 
In the ninth list there was music from the Divinyls, Michael Buble, and the Chicago Soundtrack.  They guessed it was Shoshana and that was correct. 

No one could believe Janette listened to Enya.  They thought she may have downloaded it by mistake and thought it said Enema.   

Rosie closed the show wishing everyone a great weekend!

and that's what you missed -kw