My thoughts on the past two shows.

Okay, I'm writing the daily recap but I have such strong thoughts on the past two shows I had to blog about it.  So while I'm recapping today's show, here are my thoughts.  

Today I think Rosie did a much better job explaining her position and I totally get what she was saying now. However, I think there was confusion that some people who disagreed with the celebrations were, in fact, judging those that were choosing to cheer. Now having heard clearer explanation, I better understand where she (and others who commented on the cheering) were coming from. However, I have heard people of the same opinion go beyond this statement, even to go so as far as to say things defending the man "he was a father," "we didn't know him," "he was extremely educated," etc.  Yes, he was all those things. And he was also full of hatred towards many people and planned very deadly attacks towards innocent human beings regardless of his education, whether he had children and whether or not you knew him personally. He did it and he admitted to it and in my mind, he needs no trial.  He got what he got because of what he did. Elementary thinking? Perhaps.

I think the outcry over the statements questioning the celebrations is all in the timing. Maybe it was too much maturity and contemplation too soon.  Maybe we needed to allow people to react the way they needed to, in every way.  I can only compare it to when my niece died when people immediately following her death said some things to me trying to look at the greater picture, when to me, they simply minimized my pain.  They said things like "everything happens for a reason," "she's now an angel up in heaven" (that helps if you believe that stuff but feels like a fairytale if you just held her dying body in your arms and think it's bullshit), "she's happier now with God," "she's in a better place," and "you will see her again someday." Three years later these things may hold some meaning but at the time, it only made me want to punch them in the face so they could feel as bad as I did.    Sometimes when someone is grieving all you can do is listen and nothing you can say, except acknowledge their pain, will be right. I think this might be the case for 9/11. It happened to the families of the victims in those towers, the families of those at the Pentagon and the families of the people on the plane in Shanksville. But in a way 9/11 happened to us all. And we are all still grieving. Some of us will celebrate in the streets that the perpetrator got caught, some of us will call our friends and say that we're so glad they caught the f-cker (as I did), and some will quietly cry as they remember the dead. And then some of us will be more mature and think of it in a global way and what it means for the world, for humanity. None of us are wrong in our response. We all grieve in our own way and we heal in our own way.

When I lost my niece I posted some pictures of the funeral on my flickr stream. I did it to share with family and friends who couldn't be there but I also did it for myself.   My father was very private in his grief and didn't understand the need for me to do be so public.  Perhaps, other people thought what I did was a horrific thing to do and couldn't understand it. But for me, it was my way to escape the pain at the moment and a way to share the contrast between the horror and the beauty in life. Steph died and every flower in the area bloomed. The hospital stank of darkness and death but when you walked outside the sun shone brightly and the ground was green and colorful. Life ended and new life was beginning right before your eyes. The contrast rang in my head over and over. Pain of the love you lost stabbed you in the chest and pain from the love people gave you hurt just as much.  It was like nothing I had ever seen or felt and I needed to take pictures of it to prove it to myself. It was MY way to grieve. And if someone had corrected me at the time, I too would have been very defensive. On May 8th it will be 3 years since that horrible day she died, since I faced death in the face and watched her little casket go into the ground. And again, the flowers are blooming and the birds are chirping to remind me. And I remember her like I do every year at this time.     

And as with my own tragedy, I would never choose to tell someone else how they should grieve. I took photos at her funeral. Would you have? Maybe not.   But I did.  In her case, there was no labelled perpetrator to be punished, but if there had been I sure as hell would have celebrated if they caught him. And if others cheered in the streets for her? I would kiss them for remembering. I did not see those celebrations as celebrating his death. I saw them as celebrating life, freedom, the military, our country, our resolve, our promise to those families. So, I guess it's all how you choose to see the images. But, like Rosie, I see how others in the world might see something different.  It just goes to show perception is reality. "We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." So true.

The real problem? Twitter and it's 140 characters or less. Can get you into trouble if you ask me. :)

-KellyW
kellyweist516(at)yahoo.com