ROSIE'S WEEKEND WRAPUP - FELA, STAND-UP, HOME DEPOT AND CHICKENS
Janette sang the theme song today! Rosie sang along to Rainy Days and Mondays because it was raining and Monday in Nyack today. She said she's tired and has a tummy ache which then led to some singing of various Pepto Bismol commercials and diarrhea songs between she and Jeannie.
Rosie said her kids were at Kelli's this weekend so she was with her girlfriend, Tracy, who she called "an Ever-Ready Bunny." Rosie said that Tracy always wakes up early and happy but Rosie didn't get to sleep in that much. Tracy thinks that Rosie sleeps a lot and Pete commented how much he likes to sleep, too. Pete said he could sleep 14-15 hours a day. However, Rosie did feel like after getting up so early this weekend she got a lot more done.
She went to see her doctor and her blood pressure was fantastic! It was really high last time she was there so Rosie was happy about that! Tracy and Rosie drove in to the city and saw the Broadway play Fela. Rosie gave a quick synopsis of the show and said part of it confused her a bit but she enjoyed it otherwise. This was Tracy's first Broadway show! They were walking home as they were walking past the Broadway Comedy Club, they asked her if she would come in and do 5 minutes. So, she did it! She talked about how strange it felt to be so old and performing in front of all these big eyed, 20 year olds with notebooks with all their jokes scribbled on them. She said she felt like Rodney Dangerfield walking into the old Improv and how he used to come in and do all his same material. She commented that she has to stop doing Donald Trump jokes, too.
They also went to see Vivi in a play this weekend where she played a chicken! On the way home they stopped at Home Depot to buy vegetables and some rain barrels to water the garden with the rain water. Tracy, whose very green and eco-conscious, has emailed with Ed Begley Jr. to talk about environmental issues. Rosie told Tracy "You can write him all you want but just remember I beat him on Celebrity Jeopardy!"
Rosie said they now have 11 chickens and the coop is ready! She said they are feeding the chickens the scraps from their meals and fertilizing the garden with the chicken poop. She said she is done gardening once the poop is in the garden. Rosie said she wanted a "Martha Stewart gardening stool" and Tracy said she'd make her one.
They also bought a lot of water filters for the house because they're filtering their tap water instead of using bottled water. Rosie watered the garden and said that Tracy was bossy about how she was watering it. She kept commenting that Rosie wasn't going in order when watering and that she wasn't sure that Rosie was doing it right.
PARENTING TEENS AND TRACY KICKED ROSIE'S BUTT AT THE BATTING CAGE
Rosie said that Tracy's 14 year old son got suspended from school. She wondered how much you parent and scream at a kid that isn't yours. She was vague about what he did to get suspended but said that he talked out in class and he wasn't supposed to kiss his girlfriend but he did anyway. Rosie said she cursed at him (which she finds effective when yelling at teens) and she looked at him like he was crazy. She threatened him with boarding school and yelled at him. She said he was looking at her like he was thinking "I think this was easier when my mom didn't know you." Rosie said she made him put the rocks around the chicken coop as punishment.
Rosie offered to buy Jeannie and Jackie a chicken coop for Christmas and Jeannie declined. She was not into that idea at all. Rosie asked her if it was on her bucket list to have a chicken coop and Jeannie replied with a definite NO!
Rosie said that Blake's baseball team had to forfeit a game this weekend because the other team didn't have enough players. She said she suggested that they give the other team their best guy, so the kids could still scrimmage since all the kids were there all ready to play. The coaches looked at her like she was crazy! Jeannie said the same thing happened at her son's soccer game this weekend and they ended up playing one man down instead of lending the other team a player for the game. Jeannie's son is 5 years old!
Rosie told a hilarious story about how Tracy challenged her to a batting cage competition. Tracy bet Rosie that if she could hit 80% of what Rosie could hit she would win. Rosie didn't figure she'd be very good because she doesn't really look like an athlete. Rosie said she's very competitive though and loves to bet. It was a Saturday night and Rosie really didn't want to do it and then Tracy asked Rosie if she was too afraid for the challenge which made Rosie swerve right into the batting cage and the competition was ON! Tracy ended up hitting every single pitch! Rosie said she "tipped" a lot of them but Rosie was stunned. And then she also hit lefty! All Rosie had to do was miss 1 and she would lose. And then Rosie missed! Tracy was laughing so hard she could hardly drop the balls in to the machine. Tracy did admit that Rosie's hits were better. Tracy was only getting "in field singles" and Rosie was hitting them out of the park, but still. Rosie said that Tracy's really good at baseball and said how annoying it was. She said she can garden, paint, make jewelry, make a chicken coop - she's wonder woman!
TRACY IS VERY HANDY, JEANNIE SAYS NO TO THE CHICKEN CAM AND CALLERS
Rosie said that she and Tracy cleaned out her craft room together. She said Tracy pulled the shelving units of the wall to make more space for canvasses. And she moved all of the storage units for better Feng Shui. Rosie said she swept a lot.
Rosie announced that they are going to make a chicken coop cam! Pete said it will be a 24-hour feed so that listeners can see what Rosie's chickens are doing 24 hours a day! Jeannie said she thinks they have all lost their minds. Jeannie doesn't think that would be interesting at all to watch. She said maybe for 30 seconds. Bobby has a cam at his house and can watch his dog live. Jeannie said "You people have too much time on your hands." Rosie couldn't believe that Jeannie wouldn't find it interesting and she, Pete and Janette listed off every cam they've ever seen asking Jeannie if she thought that would be interesting. Brendan has never watched a live animal cam but says he understands what they are and said that they could be interesting. Lou agreed with Brendan and James said absolutely not. Even if there was a cute guy in tight shorts tending to the animal, he still said No.
During all this Rosie's brother Timmy texted Rosie to tell her he's was NOT fixing the wall that Tracy took the shelves down from.
Jeannie watched a panda cam on the show and said it was cute but that it doesn't interest her for more than a second. Janette asked if she likes animals and Jeannie said she does but that an animal cam would lose it's novelty after 30 seconds and that everyone in the studio is a "bunch of kiss-asses."
Rosie then took several callers who gave their opinions on a chicken cam. The first one said it was a horrible idea and Rosie jokingly asked James to hang up on her. One caller said that if Rosie really puts her time in with the chickens that they will love her and look for her. Rosie gave that caller a gift since she wanted the cam. A caller who was in Miami who also supported the cam idea called in to chat with Rosie about it. Rosie talked with him about the oil spill in the gulf and whether or not they have seen the effects from it there and he had not.
Rosie said that some of the names of the chickens that they now own are: Chicken Little, Skunk Tail, Sunny, Bird, Harry Potter, PushPop, Snowball, Lemon Head and Ten Ten. She said that Tracy knows them all and even knows which one is which.
JACKIE'S IN THE DOG HOUSE WITH ROSIE
Rosie said that Jackie is now her former best friend. Rosie said that Jackie knows her well and she knows Jackie well and they have an agreement not to give each other books that will upset each other. Jackie told Rosie to read the latest Anna Quindlan book Every Last One. Rosie said the book was so depressing, she couldn't bear it. Rosie said she typically loves Anna Quindlan's writing but that this book was too sad. Rosie then talked about the book and what it was about. If you don't want to know all this detail, skip ahead to the next paragraph. Rosie said the book is about a woman in suburbia whose daughter is best friends with a boy growing up and they begin dating as teens. The girl decides she doesn't want to date the boy anymore. She said a baby drowns in the book which made Rosie sad and that the boy goes crazy and does something horrible to the woman's family.
Rosie said she was a third of the way through the book and thought "this better change or I'm going to be really mad at Jackie." By the end of the book Jackie was fired from her new TV show. Rosie said she was going to hire Jackie to do her Rosie Book Club on her new TV show because of her familiarity with books but now she's fired! Janette said she never reads the Oprah Book Club Selections because they're always so horribly depressing. Rosie said the story was too close to home and got her thinking she now has to worry about every kid her children date. Rosie said that Jackie could have been her Gayle King but she made a grievous error in judgment.
ROSIE TANNING TOPLESS, A TOUCH OF CYN AND REALITY TALENT SHOWS
Rosie said she laid out this weekend with her top off for about 15 minutes! She said she was so proud of herself because she's come such a long way in accepting her body and she was also sure no one could possibly see her. She felt great about it so she texted Tracy to tell her about it. She said she heard a commotion assuming it was Tracy coming and it was Tracy laughing hysterically. Apparently Tracy saw Pete looking at Rosie on the deck. Pete didn't realize Rosie was topless at all and thought she was wearing a white shirt. She was pretty far away from where he was. He thought it was funny because he had just seen her in a black shirt, he didn't realize she was topless! Tracy thought Pete was embarrassed because she saw him looking at her. He wasn't because he was so far away. Rosie said she felt brave, independent, self assured and European.
Rosie said she got a call on Saturday from Cyndi Lauper to give her a heads-up that she was going to stick up for her in her song she was going to perform on the Celebrity Apprentice finale. Cyndi asked her if that was alright and Rosie said it was fine, just to perform her record which Rosie thinks is great! Cyndi is also coming out with a new perfume called "A Touch of Cyn." Lastly, she asked Rosie if she would present an award to her. Cyndi ended the call reminding Rosie not to forget to watch the finale of Celebrity Apprentice. I found a YouTube of the performance but couldn't find where she mentions Rosie's name. She says something like Rosie O'D don't mess with her. FF to 3:08 where the song begins.
Rosie said she may do a couple of dates with Cyndi this summer! All the members of the staff didn't seem surprised that Bret Michaels won. After all he has been through they all thought he should have won. Rosie thought he seemed like a really good guy.
They briefly discussed their anticipation of the end of American Idol and who will win. Brendan said there is also supposed to be a big retrospective on Simon, who is leaving the show. Rosie asked what will come on once American Idol is done because she wants to follow the next show as they have done with American Idol. They discussed America's Got Talent and So You Think You Can Dance. Janette loves America's Got Talent because of the human interest stories. Rosie said all these talent shows remind her of Star Search. Rosie said that when she was at Broadway Comedy Club this weekend, she couldn't believe she used to do stand-up for a living. Rosie started doing stand-up when she was 16 years old in 1978 and did it until she won Star Search in 1984. She and Janette reminisced about the old stand-up days.
Rosie then introduced fellow comedienne Adrianne Tolsch. Adrianne and Rosie have known each other for years and used to perform together doing stand up. Adrianne said that once at the East Side Comedy Club Rosie got up and blew the room away (when Rosie was only 17 years old) and Adrianne thought to herself "I'm leaving the business." Rosie said that she did stand-up this weekend and everyone in the audience were kids and she didn't know what to say!
Adrianne stopped doing the clubs 10 years ago when she did a joke about Nixon and they thought it was a metal polish. She said right now she does the Jewish Princesses of Comedy and corporate gigs.
Adrianne told Rosie how she used to open for Chita Rivera and what a wonderful person she was to work with. Rosie said she has her RBK school and Chita has been one of their biggest supporters from the very beginning. Adrianne said that during the last show she did for Chita she mistakenly performed for the wrong amount of time on stage. She said Chita called her 2 hours later and told her not to worry about it and that she loved her. Once Adrianne realized why she got the time messed up (she was looking at the second hand instead of the minute hand on her watch) Adrianne called her back to tell her. Chita told her she was an artist and she shouldn't have to look at her watch, that she should have someone signaling her. Rosie talked about the time she bombed on stage in Vegas opening for David Copperfield. (This story is in Find Me. I may try to record it and put it up for you all so stay tuned!) The guy told her when she can afford to refund the casino for the amount of money that that size audience makes the casino she can do 3 extra minutes on stage. Until that time, she should stick to the time allotted.
Adrianne started stand-up in 1976 and she emulated and looked up to comedian Lenny Bruce. Adrianne said when she was 12 years old her father loved Lenny Bruce and took her to see him. She emulated his rhythm and ended up sounding like him in the beginning. Rosie said she did the same thing with Jerry Seinfeld. They talked about the power that you feel in making a whole room of people laugh. They also talked about local MCs, living on the road, getting stuff thrown at you, bad motel rooms, grungy nightclubs, and the rarity of female comics in their day. Rosie rarely worked with women on the road and met Janette on a gig in Florida!
Adrianne and Rosie talked about aging and failing eyesight. Adrianne said she's now getting calls from assisted living homes and nursing homes.
Adrianne and her husband have been together for 25 years and Rosie asked her what the secret to their long relationship is. Adrianne said they never stop talking to each other and they are kind to one another even when they don't want to be. They also don't sweat the small stuff. Adrianne's husband has been working at Letterman for 18 years. Rosie loves Adrianne's husband and talked about how nice he was to work with when she did the Letterman show. Adrianne MC's Caroline's new comic night and really loves it. Rosie thanked Adrianne for coming and suggested that Adrianne come back again and bring in one of the young funny comics that she loves! You can learn more about Adrianne and where she is performing next on her website http://www.adriannetolsch.com/.
Deirdre said that Gary Foxcroft, the maker of the documentary Saving Africa's Witch Children will be on the show tomorrow.
Rosie closed the show.
and that's what you missed -kw