In case you missed it...
DEIRDRE'S BIRTHDAY, GARDENING, THE SEASON FINALE OF GLEE (spoiler alert!)
Rosie started the show singing Happy Birthday to Deirdre! Deirdre loved her breakfast cake which was a red velvet cake with cake batter ice cream inside. Rosie did not love the cake. She said the cake didn't know what it wanted to be - cake or ice cream. Pete said the cake "knew what it wanted to be and it was awesome." Brendan liked it so much he slammed the table out of excitement. Everyone in the studio, especially James who is a self-proclaimed junk food enthusiast, was a little disappointed in Rosie's lack of enthusiasm for the dessert. James even went so far as to say it made him question his faith in Rosie. Bobby said that Rosie is apparently a traditionalist when it comes to cake. And Janette made Deirdre a casserole made with homemade bread that her sister Lanette made. Rosie didn't like that either!
Rosie (or Janette?) pointed out that Tracy's scrumptious salad that she made for the studio yesterday received no complaints whatsoever. Rosie said she's been informed that they're going to have salad every day of the summer because of the large garden that Tracy has planted on the property. Rosie said that her brother Eddie has an even bigger garden and has practically an orchard on his property.
The studio then discussed last night's season finale of Glee! Rosie was happy that Quinn finally had her baby and that storyline is over because her youngest daughter Vivi wouldn't stop asking about the baby and the pregnancy. Vivi was also confused when they went backstage at the Glee concert at Radio City last week because the actress who plays Quinn wasn't pregnant in real life. Rosie and Bobby liked the fact that Idina Menzel's character adopted the baby but Janette did not like it. And apparently, Janette and Bobby had a very heated discussion about it on the way to work this morning. Rosie wanted Janette to explain why it bothered her so much but as a preface to Janette's response, Rosie explained to the listening audience that Janette's mother left her when she was only 1.5 years old. Janette said the character is a horrible person because she is the mother who gave up a child and then she went and manipulated that child to get back into her life thinking she would be interested in now being her mom and then deciding that no, she wasn't interested. Bobby saw it differently. He sees this mother who gave up a baby and now perhaps feels like she made a mistake. So she reached out to her daughter and then realized she can't be a mom anymore to her. Janette said that's too bad! She continued that Idina's character shouldn't have sent up some kid to pry her way back into her daughter's life and then reject her AGAIN in the hopes to solve her own emotional problems. Rosie interrupted the conversation and asked "Do you still go to therapy Janette?" And Janette laughed and said "No, I'm done. I'm cured!" lol
Rosie said that Mercedes Ruehl gave up a baby for adoption when she was very young and she met him when he was an adult. After meeting him she decided to adopt a baby. Rosie said it's an incredible sacrifice and an unbelievable leap of faith to give up a baby with the desire for them to have a better life. Bobby said there is no way to say whether or not the fictional characters are developing a relationship off camera. Janette said that a mother who lets her child go should allow the child to come find her if he or she wants to. Janette said that's the one thing she respected about her own mother. After her mother died, Janette found out that her mother knew who Janette was and she knew she was a comic. Her mother had considered coming to a club one night when she knew Janette was performing in the area but she didn't go because she said she was afraid she would upset her. Janette said it would have upset her and she respects the fact that her mom didn't come. However, Rosie often encouraged Janette to go find her mom a long time ago (before she died) and at the end of the conversation Janette admitted she wished she would have listened to Rosie and went and found her.
The studio staff said they cried a couple times watching last night's episode including the scene where the baby is born. They all thought that scene was beautifully done.
LOSING IT WITH JILLIAN, HUGE AND BEING NAKED
Rosie said she was depressed after it was over because she wondered what she and her family are going to watch together now on Tuesday nights! It had become a family tradition for them to watch it. Rosie said she turned on America's Got Talent at 8pm but it was a repeat. Then she watched Glee at 9pm and then she said she made a huge error. She watched Losing It With Jillian at 10pm. She the show made her lose it. The only part of the show she liked was that Jillian gave the family $50,000 at the end of it. She talked about last night's episode and how this widowed mom hadn't exercised in 20 years. Rosie said she felt panic because she started to worry that Jillian was going to show up on her doorstep. Vivi asked Rosie to turn it off because Jillian was scaring her.
She said that then there was a promo for the ABC Family show HUGE starring Nikki Blonsky. Vivi saw the promo too and then cuddled up next to Rosie and said she felt bad for her because Mommy's fat.
Deirdre didn't understand why Jillian scares Rosie and James said he too would love Jillian as a trainer. Rosie said she had moments of PTSD from watching the show! Vivi kept saying "that the lady's going to die!" in reference to the woman that Jillian was trying to help. Rosie said she doesn't understand abuse as motivation. She then demanded to see a picture of Jillian fat. Rosie said it's an inspiring show if you can live past the terror. Rosie said she heard it's getting good ratings too. Okay, putting in my two cents. I love Jillian because I think she is like a psychologist who is basically performing an intervention. Like you would do with any drug addict, Jillian comes in to your life to wake you from the coma of denial and unconscious living in order to help you see that you're killing yourself with food and with complacency. I absolutely love her on the Biggest Loser and I love her on this show. She is saving lives. Okay, off my soapbox now. :)
Rosie said that Tracy will oftentimes take pictures of Rosie naked. Bobby, Deirdre and Janette sounded horrified by this thought and said that the pictures could come back to haunt her someday. They said she should be deleting them ALL. Rosie showed Deirdre the naked picture of Tracy that Rosie took. Deirdre said it wasn't really naked because you can't really see anything. She also commented on how beautiful Tracy is. Rosie then showed them the picture of herself naked that Tracy took of her. Everyone in the studio told Rosie she could NOT post it even though it doesn't really show any parts. Rosie said she looks like a "cave woman taking a dump." Rosie said that Janette couldn't talk because she does naked blogging! Janette said she doesn't show her "hoo hoo's" or her "ha ha's." LOL Janette said she is never naked, only just before she hops in the shower. Rosie said she is hardly ever naked either and Tracy gets her when they've spent the night together and she is coming back to bed after going to the bathroom, half asleep, in the middle of the night.
JUST SAYING NO TO POPTHATZIT , DEATH AND THE FIRST THOUGHTS WHEN AWAKENING
Rosie said that she had to email popthatzit.com to have her name removed off the alerts that they send out when a new video is loaded onto the website. She said that after she sent in the request, the owner of the site was worried she was mad at him. She is not mad at him, in fact, she really adores him but her therapist doesn't think the site is good for her intrusive thoughts. Rosie explained that she wasn't spending hours a day on the site but that the alerts to her blackberry/iPhone were causing her to feel a compulsion towards going to the site. The therapist suggested she stop the alerts to see if the need to go to the site lessons. Rosie also said that a lot of listeners are repulsed when she talks about popping zits on the show and she shouldn't talk about it anymore.
Then somehow the conversation moved towards age and how old Janette is. For example, James' mother is younger than Janette and Pete's dad is only 3 years older than her. Janette said she had a realization recently that she's "not on the home stretch but she's definitely turned the corner." Rosie then asked Janette how often she thinks about death and Janette said she thinks about death every single day and every single day she says to herself "it's coming so be sure to live today to the fullest." Rosie asked if she's seeing a therapist to talk about this and Janette said she doesn't see anyone about these thoughts because she's been cured! Bobby told Janette that to wake up and think about death every day doesn't sound healthy to him. Rosie's therapist asked her what are the first thoughts she has in the morning so she asked the studio. Bobby said that after he presses snooze and tries to get more sleep, he immediately wants to know what the weather is like outside. Deirdre said that lately when she first wakes up, she's been thinking of her boyfriend Ted. Janette said that yesterday she immediately thought about the little girl she flew a kite with at the beach and that she was too old to be her mother but she was old enough to be her grandmother. Pete said he doesn't think about much that early in the morning. Rosie said the first thoughts she has every morning are whether or not it's sunny.
Then Rosie felt like Brendan and Lou were laughing at them in the control booth and demanded to know what they were laughing about. They explained that Lou was telling Brendan that he hears the Rosie Radio theme song in his head when he first wakes up at least 3 times a week. Rosie gave Lou crap again for missing the Memorial Day barbecue. Lou said that if he would have come to the barbecue, he would never have made fun of Rosie's bathing suit.
MASTERING OTHER LANGUAGES, GETTING GRADED AND ROSIE LOOKS LIKE A CULT LEADER?
Rosie talked about a few years back when she decided not to be self-conscious about what she looks like in a bathing suit because she thought it was important for her kids to see her in a bathing suit and know she was not ashamed of her body. Then, as Rosie was telling this story the boys started laughing about something again and she thought the boys in the studio were talking behind her back and laughing at her. She thought they were sending secret messages to each other. Rosie said she felt like she does when she's at the manicurists and she can't understand what they are all saying to each other because they all are speaking Korean. Brendan pointed out that Pete actually knows Korean. Rosie tried to sing the song that Pete had sang the other day in Korean which made Pete laugh to the point where he could not speak. Deirdre said "here come the hate letters again" referring to the time that Rosie imitated the Chinese language and accidentally said something offensive and got letters from many Chinese Americans. Then Pete calmed down from his hysterical laughing fit and sang the Korean song he sang the other day. Bobby said that he once tried to learn Dutch and then counted in Dutch for everyone. Pete counted to 10 in Korean. Janette said, "I'm an American woman." in German. Deirdre told everyone that she can speak French. Rosie then recited a long speech/conversation in French that she remembers from school!! Janette said, "And Rosie makes fun of her for her photographic memory?!"
Pete said he got a "B" in Spanish because his teacher liked his brother so much. Rosie said her Environmental Science teacher gave her a D- instead of an F because Rosie made up a very detailed story about terrorists once on a test. The teacher told her she should fail her but since she showed up to class every day she gave her a D-. Janette said as a kid, she was totally opposed to getting a better grade than she fully deserved. She said she was in the lowest math class at the school and only got a 30/100 because she was in the extremely bad at math. But all the other kids were bad too and the teacher graded on a curve so she still got an A!
Rosie then proceeded to recite the entire Primatene Mist commercial from memory.
Janette said she often wondered if she could win on the show Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader. She doesn't think she could win and Rosie didn't think she could win on that show either. Deirdre then started laughing hysterically because she said Rosie was sitting wearing a purple snuggie and she looked like a member of the Heaven's Gate cult lead by Marshall Applewhite. Rosie was offended and called Deirdre a "44 year old, Jenny Craig follower whose boyfriend left her." Until she saw a picture that someone showed her and she said "Oh My God, you're right!" And then said she took it all back and threw off the purple snuggie.
ROSIE UPSETS THE RIGHT WING, THE OIL SPILL AND ROSIE'S BROTHER TIMMY
Rosie said that the "right wing people" went crazy yesterday because she said the U.S. Government should seize BP's assets. She said there are already hate groups against her on Facebook and Twitter because of what she said but she doesn't care because she thinks they should. They talked briefly about an AP journalist that dove into the oil spill to show people what it was like in the oil. He dove into the oil without a protective suit on. The journalist said he felt it was his duty to show what it was like. Someone in the room asked if he was at risk even if he was only in the oil for a second. Rosie said that the oil is hazardous to humans even with limited exposure and directed listeners to read the link on her blog about the Crude Oil dangers.
Pete then brought Rosie Timmy's sweatshirt to keep her warm since she threw off the purple snuggie because Deirdre made fun of her. Rosie said she's wearing it because it was TIMMY'S and HE would never make fun of her like they all were. Rosie said that she was pretty sure Timmy was listening too because whenever she says anything relating to spending money on the air, Timmy emails her. He emailed her yesterday when she said she wanted to buy a new car asking her if she really needs it. Timmy doesn't enjoy the spending of any money and absolutely loves Tracy and her frugality.
THE TALE OF CHERRIES, FARTING AND PUBLIC POOPING
Rosie said she was up all night last night because of Brendan's "tale of cherries." Yesterday, Brendan shared that he had to take cherries out of his grocery cart at the checkout because they were $7.50 for one container of cherries. This kept Rosie up all night because she kept thinking how it's not fair that everyone can't afford cherries, that fruit is so expensive and that she should do something about it. Then they came in this morning and Shoshana had brought in a whole bowl of cherries for everyone to share because she gets them on the street which is cheaper than the grocery store.
This morning Rosie heard a long loud fart that she impersonated (verbally). First Rosie attempted to impersonate it and then Pete tried. And it was Deirdre! Deirdre feels totally fine about farting in front of everyone because farting is natural! Bobby said it's not natural the way she farted. He also said it's not natural to lift your butt cheek and point your farts at someone. Rosie asked Deirdre if she'd rather have the Better Marriage Blanket (that absorbs your farts) rather than the extra Eileen Fisher giftcards she gave her for her birthday. Deirdre explained that she farted because she wanted to see Janette run and cry. Rosie and Bobby heard it and they were out of the room. Deirdre said that Pete wasn't allowed to criticize her because they will often have farting contests when they are out smoking together. Janette said that was completely different because that's between two consenting adults! Janette then remembered why it bothered her so much. Janette said her father was a "big old wind haver" and would frequently blame it on other things and the joke got old after a while. Rosie said her Nana used to say "wherever you shall be, let your wind blow free." Pete said that Shoshana looked as if someone had punched her in the face when Deirdre farted. Janette said that she and Barry have an agreement to NEVER fart in front of each other and they do not do it! Deirdre said that the staff should feel good about her farting in front of them because that means she feels comfortable enough in front of them to do it. She can't fart in front of her boyfriend Ted. Bobby said he is not a public farter because his mother would kill him. If he has to fart in a public bathroom he will flush the toilet to cover the sound. Rosie said she would rather poop in her pants than be a public pooper and that includes port-a-potties. Janette said she would rather a port-a-potty than pooping with someone in the stall next to her. Deirdre said that when she worked on The Rosie O'Donnell Show she would go to work early so she could go potty before anyone got there. Janette said some of the Interns at the Howard Stern Show have been caught using Howard's bathroom. Rosie said that's reason to fire some Interns then. Janette, who is an avid Howard Stern listener said that Lisa G. takes shits at work and there's even mention in a song about it. Rosie then suggested they change the topic!!
THE HOMES WE GROW UP IN AND LETTING GO OF THE PAST
Rosie said that a lot of listeners also got mad at what she had to say about Helen Thomas getting fired yesterday on the show. Janette said she thinks people will get mad no matter what they talk about.
Rosie said that Didi Conn was going to be on later in the show to talk about the very fascinating documentary she's in called My Dog: An Unconditional Love Story. Janette said that her family dog died of cancer and he was buried in the backyard of the house she grew up in, which was one of the hardest things she had to deal with when she sold the farm in 2007. Janette said she misses her family home and the property terribly. She and her sister owned 130 acres and they would have had it taken by the state of Connecticut and "green land" if they hadn't sold it. She explained it (but I had a hard time following) that the state has a right to take back property if they do not want it developed or if they want to use it for civic use. The owner of the property is often paid pennies on the dollar for what it's worth. Instead of waiting for the state to take the property from them and not get what it was worth, Janette and her sister sold it to a residential developer for right at market value. She said the house that she grew up in, and that had been in her family for generations is now gone and she aches now that it no longer exists. She misses it, she can still picture it and she wishes she could have it back.
Rosie found it interesting that Janette was so attached to a home that represented not a very happy childhood. Janette explained that the home, good or bad, made her who she is today and she likes who she is today and that was her only place of common ground. She felt as if she really belonged there, where her ancestors once lived, and the trees and the rocks would protect her and welcome her when no one else would. Janette didn't have a large family but she had the spirits of the past there. She said the loss from losing the land and her family home only gets worse as time goes by and the ache only gets greater. She still has trouble with the fact that she can picture those rooms in her head and the fact they do not exist anymore anywhere on the planet. She even felt as if the curtains and the wallpaper that remained the same her entire life, aged as she did and felt reflective of her life and her family. She compared it to Balrog, or a pulsating breathing being of the past and she misses it horribly.
Bobby does not miss his home he grew up in because his parents live there. Rosie once went back to the home she grew up in and she couldn't believe how small if felt to her. She said she didn't really miss it though.