ROSIE SINGS PARAMORE AND ROSIE FINDS BYRON KATIE
Rosie began today's show singing You Are The Only Exception by Paramore. Rosie sings this song to her kids in the car and said how she sang the Rosie Radio theme song today is similar to how she sings this song with her kids. Rosie sang the chorus of the song "You ARE the only exception. You ARE! the only exception. You ARE!!!! the only exception, etc." Rosie said the chorus in this song is just repeated over and over and is totally annoying to her.
Rosie said that Byron Katie would be at the studio today to talk with her personally. She drove up to Nyack for the interview. At 43 years old, Byron was extremely depressed. She was suicidal, couldn't get out of bed and wasn't attending to her children. Then she had an epiphany. She realized you are not your thoughts and that victims are violent people because they are violent against themselves. She came up with a 4 question "work" that allows people to not be controlled by their own thoughts. She has even worked with Oprah. Rosie said that Byron is a a self-help therapist that has really effected her. Byron Katie maintains that the suffering from the world comes from inaccurate thoughts. Rosie has also learned that our thoughts about past negative experiences re-traumatize us. Janette said that she has often found that the most profound thoughts are simplistic. Rosie is going to interview Byron Katie with everyone out of the room. Byron's work is meant to be done in a public forum so we can learn from each other but the other members of the staff are going to be listening from the control room.
Byron asks 4 questions regarding our thoughts:
1. Is it true?
2. Are you absolutely certain it is true?
3. How does it make you feel when you believe it?
4. Who would you be without that thought?
Rosie recommended listeners go on her website and watch Byron's "interviews" with people. When Rosie first started reading about "the work" she compared it to her own recurring thought that she was "too fat." Rosie found Byron Katie because she was wondering to herself why she picks her face so harshly that she hurts herself and makes herself bleed. Rosie learned through Byron's "work" that she's violent to herself. Then, Rosie started over-eating when she stopped picking. Rosie thinks you need a program to fully break yourself from a negative get out of a behavior. How you think about where you are in your life determines your state of being. She asks us WHO would we be without suffering? Janette has been violent to herself physically. Rosie too. Rosie used to break her own bones as a child with a wooden hanger. Rosie said it sounds crazy when you say it aloud but suffering is something that everyone can relate to whether that be an eating disorder, alcoholism, over-eating, etc.
Rosie talked about how she walked off The View without even defending herself. She said there are moments when she can let that moment go. But the initial impetus of her leaving was that she didn't want to make war with a young pregnant woman on National television for money. Janette participated in a positive thinking program called E.S.T and in the end she learned that we are responsible. And we can even take responsibility for things we didn't do. Rosie said that Byron Katie says that there are 3 types of business. Your business, someone else's business and God's business. It doesn't mean you can't care and that you don't have compassion for something if you don't completely consume yourself with it but to consume your brain with the thought of something does nothing but make you suffer.
Before the interview Rosie even wondered why Byron was willing to come up to Nyack just for her, just to talk to her. Rosie is overwhelmingly moved and touched that she's come to Nyack to talk with her.
Then it was time to turn the thought around and think the opposite of "he's afraid of me." Which is Rosie is afraid of him. Byron talked with Rosie about what she's afraid is going to happen if she doesn't comfort and doesn't scream at him. Rosie said she is afraid she can't make him stop, she's going to scare him, and she won't be able to help him. She's also afraid that the chaos and the noise will unsettle the other children. Rosie admitted she has wanted to try to "fix" Archie which she admitted is just her ego. And Rosie said that Archie's screaming does upset everyone in the house. Byron asked Rosie who is the teacher of the household. Rosie answered back that she is teaching that the screaming is upsetting and that screaming at someone in pain is okay. To Rosie, it looks like he's in tremendous pain. Byron said there's no way for Rosie to know that he's in pain, it could just be her own thoughts.
Byron said the opposite of fear is trust. She asked Rosie how Archie trusts Rosie. Rosie said he trusts her to take him on the boat. And sometimes he hugs Rosie. Byron asked her to allow her to feel that feeling and to not allow it would be disrespectful.
Rosie said she questions so many self-help people and their intent when they charge for their services. She appreciates that Byron Katie's work is free. Byron said she doesn't claim ownership of it. Rosie said it's as if she's cleaned the window so the light can come through her so that others can clean their own windows.
Rosie said the first crack in her adult life was Columbine, then 9/11, then Katrina, and then the oil spill. Rosie thought she couldn't survive it when the oil spill happened. She realizes it is not happening to her and the concept that it is God's business has given her solace. For Rosie, global issues have been crippling and she would end up throwing money at world catastrophes trying to help. Only that doesn't make her feel better and then she would get angry that others aren't helping more. Byron said when motives are running "the work" doesn't work.
Rosie asked Byron if she ever asks why this happened to her. Byron simply stated, "Because I'm the one that can be trusted with it." Regarding Archie, Byron asked Rosie to be present with him. Rosie said that that is how her girlfriend Tracy is with him and it's very humbling for Rosie. Byron said that Tracy does "the work" without even knowing it. Byron said all we have is to learn or suffer and that suffering is worse.
ROSIE AND THE STORY OF HER MOMOne of the first things Rosie's girlfriend Tracy ever asked Rosie was "Why do you always tell the story of your mother's death?" She said that Rosie had so many stories of her life but that is the one she always tells. So, Byron went through her 4 questions with Rosie about her mother's death. She asked Rosie if it is true that her mother died. Rosie said Yes. Byron asked Rosie to look at her life from that moment until now. She asked her what that felt like when she found out her mother died. Rosie said she felt abandoned, unlovable and not worth staying for. She asked Rosie, for a moment, to imagine who she would be without the thought "my mother died." Rosie said she would have had much less suffering. She asked Rosie who she would be without that story of her mother's death and the story of being sent home from Jackie's house and all the grown ups crying and screaming. Other than what her thoughts at that moment, she was okay. What she was thinking and believing caused the suffering, it wasn't her mother's death.
Byron asked her to turn it around. Her mother didn't die. Her mother lives in her, in who she is as a person, in her love of theater, in the resemblance of her face, her charisma, the way she parents, and her genetics, etc. Byron asked Rosie to imagine her mother alive. She asked Rosie to imagine her cleaning in the other room. She said an image of her mother is a visit. She is there in her mind. She said if you're in the kitchen and your mom's in the bedroom she only exists in your mind anyway. Byron said another way to turn the thought around would be that Rosie died at 10 years old.
Byron said that all life has a right to die. And when she hurts you don't and she loves that. And when you hurt she doesn't. But we project our feelings onto each other. When Archie screamed, Rosie projected that as pain. She said that all suffering is self-inflicted. To not suffer doesn't mean that you don't care. We project our feelings or how we think we feel based on the past. We're the projector of all and the creator of all our suffering. Byron said that once we question it, you're awake to it.
Rosie asked Byron if she imagines if this is what she'll be doing for the rest of her life. If this is her calling? Byron said that this is how she sees now. She said there's not chance of her not seeing what she sees as long as this apparent existence is going on. She said it is worth living just to witness one human being waking up to their true selves. She can only exist as another's projection and without that, there's no life.
Rosie and Byron talked about how when someone says "I love you" it's a great thing because they love themselves. And if someone tells her she's a piece of crap, she feels bad for them because that's how they feel about themselves.
Rosie ended the interview telling Byron that the peace that she exits in is intoxicating and something to strive for. Byron said that it's possible for everyone that all it takes is stillness and an open mind. She said that she is the reality that it's possible. Rosie told Byron she is doing a program for OWN and that she would like her to come visit the show.
Rosie closed the show.
and that's what you missed -kw