10-26-10 - Teen Pregnancy, Family Secrets and Pumpkin Recipes

In case you missed it...

Rosie began today's broadcast asking what everyone was going to dress up as for Halloween.  Janette said she's going to dress up as herself.  Rosie asked if this meant she would be wearing a big flowing skirt and a sign that says "get away, you stinking children."  Rosie's going to dress up as an Evil Jester.  The picture of Rosie in her costume is on Rosie.com if you want to check it out!  Rosie explained that she goes to buycostumes.com every year and then picks out the most comfortable looking plus-sized costume she can find for herself.   Deirdre is giving candy out in her building and still hasn't decided what to be yet.

Lou is in contention for a new job! He's having a sit-down with Pearl Jam Radio, a new Sirius radio station on Sirius ch.17 XM ch.39,  to see if he could get involved in some way.  If you didn't know, Lou is the biggest Pearl Jam fan EVER.  Lou said it would be like having a Barbra Streisand station and not consulting Rosie on it.  Rosie said that would never happen because heads would roll if it did.  Lou has some great ideas for the new Sirius show and said he could be an asset.  He hopes to do both Pearl Jam Radio and Rosie Radio but Jeannie seemed worried he might leave Rosie Radio if he was given the choice.   Stay tuned to find out what Lou does! 

They very briefly mentioned last night's "Dancing With The Stars."  Pete is bored with the show and Rosie said without Florence Henderson, the show is severely lacking.  Jeannie was pleased with Bristol's performance last night.  Ever since Rosie's been watching 16 And Pregnant she said she has a better understanding of Bristol. Deirdre said "16 and Pregnant" is one of MTV's most successful shows!  Season 3 of "16 and Pregnant" starts tonight at 10pm (but Rosie reminded everyone not to forget to watch Glee at 8pm). 

Shoshana found a study that stated that the show "16 and Pregnant" is effective at reducing teen pregnancy when you look at the teen birth rate since the show has been on.  Rosie's been watching it with her eldest daughter Chelsea who has said the show has made her realize what a lot of work it would be to have a baby.  Rosie likes how the program shows the realities of teen pregnancy including how some teens get ostracized from their group of friends after having a baby. She said the statistics of adopted teens getting pregnant are even higher than the average rate.  Rosie said some adopted teens get pregnant because they are trying to recreate their own stories in their minds and lives.

Rosie then took several calls from listeners about the show.    After speaking with a few other mothers that were fans of the show Janette asked Rosie if she feels her own motherlessness was the impetus for her wanting to have children so badly.  Rosie thought perhaps it was.  She said she was very confident and comfortable raising her children when they were little but she has no working memory of being parented as a teen and she wondered if that was part of the reason why she is struggling this much parenting her own teens.  One listener Rosie spoke to enjoys the show but worries that it is making celebrities out of the teen moms. She worried that putting the teen moms on the covers of magazines might have a less desirable outcome and that it might cause the teen birth rate to increase.  One caller was proud to tell Rosie that even though she was a teen mom her now 22 and 24 year old children are still virgins.  Rosie doubted that was true but congratulated the caller on her success at keeping them abstinent. 

Rosie said she misses the confidence in knowing what to do with her children that she had when they were younger.  She feels she wasn't really parented at all as a teen after her mother died so she didn't have the same experience that most children do and that is the reason she is lacking in confidence.  She and her siblings did not act out and rebel against parental figures as most teens do.  She said they wanted the teachers to love them and there was no drama in the teenage years in her house because there were no parents to rebel against.  She wished there was a teenage mother support group so she could go. 

Jeannie wondered about the validity of the teen pregnancy study which stated that teen pregnancy rates have declined since the show has been on the air.  She said  other factors could be causing the drop in teen pregnancy such as more mothers taking their girls to an OBGYN to get them on birth control - something that would have been unheard of when Jeannie was growing up.  She then assured Rosie that loosing her confidence as a mom when parenting teens is a universal feeling.  Jeannie doesn't think Rosie lacks in confidence because she wasn't raised by a mom.  Instead Jeannie thinks Rosie can't handle the teenage years because her feelings get hurt when they're not all getting along with one another.  Jeannie told Rosie that she takes things her kids say too personally where Jeannie can more easily see it as normal teenage behavior because she treated her mom that way too.  Rosie never experienced the rebellion against her mother that many teenage girls go through.  In fact, Rosie would reprimand Jeannie when she was a teenager when she was mean to her own mother.   

Rosie said her biggest issue with parenting right now is knowing when the punishment is too extreme.  She said when parents are dealing with adopted kids there's an additional layer because they don't want to add to the wound they already have over being adopted. 

Rosie took a call from a listener who had many foster brothers and sisters in her household growing up.  Her family adopted one of the girls they fostered who has had many problems with attachment over the years.  A doctor told the family the girl's attachment issues may not ever work themselves out and that she would probably have problems with that her entire life.  Rosie listened lovingly and said when babies are placed for adoption the family is often in crisis and sometimes that crisis can be drug use on behalf of the birth mother which can effect the child forever.  

Rosie took another call from a listener whose teen daughter became pregnant.  The caller didn't want anyone to know her teen was pregnant so she pulled her daughter out of school.  Her daughter had the baby and now she and her husband are raising the baby as their own.  No one else in her family (not even their eldest child who was already out of the home when the baby was born) knows their teen gave birth to the baby they've adopted.  Rosie seemed worried for the caller that they are choosing to keep this big family secret and had Jeannie share her story of her own family secret.  Jeannie told the caller that her mom never told her that her brother was only a half-brother, a child from a previous marriage.  It wasn't until Jeannie was 17 years old that her mother told her the truth, that her brother had been born from a previous marriage which was also an abusive relationship.  Jeannie said she cannot begin to explain how deceived she felt when she finally found out the truth and how much trust she lost in her mother for not telling her sooner.  To feel that deceived was devastating for Jeannie.  The caller sat in silence and didn't know what to say.  Jeannie continued to explain that she knows that her mother had her reasons for not telling her but at 17 years old all that mattered to her was that she was lied to.  Rosie agreed and told the caller "you're only as sick as your secrets."  Rosie thinks the child needs to know her sister is really her mother and warned that the longer the caller waits, the harder it will be to explain.  She said the shame and the energy in maintaining that lie can't be healthy for anyone in the family.  Rosie told the caller that she is sure she had good intentions and her decision to become a parent again later in life wasn't easy but she should consider the ramifications of hiding such a huge fact from her own family.  Rosie told the caller to do only what she feels comfortable with but she really thinks the caller should come clean with everyone because secrets always come back to bite us.  The caller explained that they did it because they didn't want their daughter to go through the stigma and the judgement of being a teen mom.  But Rosie pointed out that since  her daughter is now 20 years old the circumstances of her life are now different and it might be okay for her for people to know the truth.   Rosie thanked the caller for the phone call and for her honesty.  The caller thanked Rosie for taking her call but said she didn't see her telling her family the truth any time soon.   Janette shared her own experience with family secrets and said after her mother left she started a new family and Janette's existence was (and may still be) a secret to her mother's new family.   

Rosie took a call from a listener who is a counselor who specializes in Reactive Attachment Disorder, which stems from a failure to form normal attachments to primary caregivers in early childhood.  She works with parents and feels that most parents give their children too much and are too permissive.  She said whether the child is adopted or not, there are certain things that every teenager goes through.  She also thought the last caller needed a family counselor to help them find the answers within themselves.  She has NEVER felt that a child is hopeless and the key to success is finding the right family therapist.  Rosie asked the caller what her opinions were on therapeutic boarding schools and she said they are "a joke."  She said if you want children to build bonds with their parents why would you send them out of the home?  She said it takes a lot of time to work on Reactive Attachment but when parents are committed, a good therapist can help any family.  Rosie seemed frustrated because she said everyone seems to have a different answer when it comes to dealing with teens.   The caller then said every situation is different and she doesn't disagree with any technique completely.  She said each case must be looked at on a case-by-case basis.   

Jeannie sent her daughter to live with her biological father when she was having problems as a teen.   She felt she had to break the cycle of destructive behavior that her teen was participating in and that was the way to do it.  She said it worked for a while but they've since realized it was her daughter's underlying anxiety disorder that was driving her to act out.  She said sending her away only put a band-aid on the problem.  But Jeannie said her daughter is able to talk about her issues more today and they have a better ability to deal with what she's going through. 

Firstly, regarding the pumpkin decorating contest, Bobby is still in first place and Janette had moved into second place (as of today's broadcast!).  If you still haven't voted CLICK HERE!

Then it was time for the Pumpkin Recipe contest!  Each member of the studio was assigned to create a recipe where pumpkin was the main ingredient in honor of Halloween.  Rosie went on and on about how she hates the taste of pumpkin and didn't want to be the one to have to taste everything.  She said pumpkin seems like something you would have to eat on the game of Survivor for extra points.  Pete offered to do it in her place.  

Janette made a pumpkin filled with a bread stuffing.  You were to scoop out the stuffing and eat some of the pumpkin too.  Pete tried and liked it!  Bobby used take-out Chinese food containers decorated with jack-o-lantern faces with a "carrot cakey thing" inside. (not the best description sorry!)  Jeannie made pumpkin chocolate cheesecake bars.  James made pumpkin apple cranberry muffins.  Pete made a pumpkin milkshake with whip-cream on top.  Janette tried it but Rosie would NOT.  No one really liked the milkshake including Pete.  Deirdre made pumpkin crunch with pumpkin, milk, eggs and pecans.  And Shoshana (who doesn't like pumpkin either) made a pumpkin bread/cake that didn't taste like pumpkin at all.  

Rosie eventually tried everything (expect for Pete's milkshake) and was please to announce that all the items were really delicious!  She was impressed and therefore shocked!  Pete said if the staff emailed him their recipes he would put them on Rosie.com for listeners.  Pete thought Rosie should choose a winner but she wouldn't.  Then she asked LOU where his pumpkin recipe was???  He gave some lame excuse about his girlfriend not coming over to make it for him but Rosie didn't buy it.  She recalled how Lou didn't come to her party, he didn't decorate a pumpkin and now he didn't make a pumpkin recipe!  She bet if he was working for the Pearl Jam channel he would have decorated a pumpkin!  She wondered if Lou already had one foot out the door moving on to his new gig!

Rosie then interviewed Kari Byron from MythBusters on the Discovery channel.  Rosie said  her youngest son Blake LOVES that show.  In "Myth Busters" they "mix scientific method with gleeful curiosity and plain old-fashioned ingenuity to create their own signature style of explosive experimentation."  [SOURCE: Discovery.com]  Kari also hosts a new show called Head Rush on the Science channel.  Kari has a new baby who Rosie enjoyed asking her about.  Kari's baby is now one and a half years old and she said being a mom has changed her whole world.

Kari got started with MythBusters by accident.  She was a sculptor but she wasn't making a good living at it so she thought she'd get into special effects.  She started by interning at a special effects company to learn more about it and the day she started just happened to be the first day they started filming Myth Busters!  They eventually incorporated her into the show. 

Kari really enjoys that they are teaching people about science while making it fun.  Rosie asked Kari about the episode that President Obama was on!  Kari was floored that President Obama wanted to be on it but she said it made sense because of his STEM initiative.  The Stem Initiative's goal is to move American students from the middle to the top of the pack in science and math achievement.  

One of Kari's favorite episodes was entitled "Red flag to a bull" to see if a red flag would actually aggravate a bull into charging.  But as a side experiment they put a bull in a china shop to see if he would knock over any dishes.  He did not so they kept adding more and more bulls and all the bulls only broke one dish in the shop!  She joked that the crew broke more dishes preparing for the experiment! 

Kari's show "Head Rush" was created to get teens (especially girls) more interested in science.  "Head Rush is an hour long program of MythBusters mash-ups with games, experiments, special science celebs, and more.  Kari said their goal was to make science fun and to show that you don't have to be a scientist in a white lab coat to be into science.  They wanted to show that science is all around you and is constant.  

Kari said that she never really thought she'd be doing this as a living but she said if you don't know what you want to do as a career people should try interning for free.  She said if you're willing to work for free you have a shot at getting the job you really want!  Rosie joked that they all practically work for free at Sirius.   

Catch Kari Byron on "MythBusters" Wednesday night's at 9pm EST, and on "Head Rush" Monday-Friday at 4pm & Saturdays from 7-9am EST on The Discovery Channel!

Then it was time for the Lead Singers Game.  Brendan played a clip of a famous song and the player had to name the song, band or group and the lead singer if they could.  Each player got one point for naming the song, one point for naming the group and one point for naming the lead singer's name.   

Janette - heard a clip of "Baby Give Me One More Chance."   She named the song and said that it was Michael Jackson from the Jackson Five for 3 points!
Jeannie - heard a clip of "Wanted Dead or Alive."  She knew the name of the song and guessed the band was Bon Jovi and the lead singer was Jon Bon Jovi for 3 points!
caller - heard a clip of "Sweet Dreams."  She knew the name of the song and that it was by the band The Eurythmics and the lead singer was Annie Lennox for a total of 3 points!
Bobby - heard a clip of "One Love."  He knew the song and that it was sung by Bono but couldn't guess the band.  He guessed "Bono and his friends."  The band was U2.  He got 2 points. 
Rosie - heard a clip of "Bootylicious."  She knew the song and guessed Beyonce (which was correct) but she guessed that the group was TLC (which was incorrect.)  The group was "Destiny's Child."
Pete - heard a clip of "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me."  He knew the song was by the Culture Club and sung by Boy George for a total of 3 points!

Janette - "Hotel California" But she couldn't guess the band (which was the Eagles) or the singer (who was Don Henley) for a total of 1 point.   
Jeannie -  "Invisible Touch."  She guessed the group Genesis and the singer Phil Collins for a total of 3 points!
caller - "I'm Just a Girl" She didn't know it and got 0 points.  The group was No Doubt and the singer was Gwen Stefani.
Bobby -  "Bohemian Rhapsody" He didn't know so they gave him a hint and said it's what he is.  Bobby guessed "a Homosexual?"  The group was QUEEN.  He then knew the lead singer and guessed Freddy Mercury for a total of 2 points.
Rosie - "Light My Fire."  She guessed the song and named the band (the Doors) and the singer (Jim Morrison) for a total of 3 points!
Pete - "Boom Boom Pow" He couldn't guess the band "Black Eyed Peas" but then knew the singers were  WillIAm or Fergie for a total of 2 points.

Janette - "1-2-3."  She couldn't guess the singer Gloria Estefan (she guessed Michael Jackson!) or the group The Miami Sound Machine which resulted in 0 points. 
Jeannie - "Sweet Child of Mine." She couldn't guess Guns and Roses by Axel Rose so she only got 1 point.
caller - "A Blondie song!"  she guessed Blondie with Deborah Harry (but I didn't know the name of the song!) for a total of 3 points. 
Bobby - "Faithfully" He didn't know it was by the group Journey sung by Steve Perry so he got a 0.
Rosie - "Smells Like Teen Spirit" She knew right away that it was Nirvana with Kurt Cobain and got 3 points.
Pete - "It's Not Over" He couldn't guess the group which was Daughtry but he did then guess the singer's name who was Chris Daughtry for a total of 2 points.

Janette - "Stop in the Name of Love" She quickly guessed Diana Ross and the Supremes for a total of 3 points!
Jeannie - "Bye Bye Bye" by NSYNC.  She guessed the Backstreet Boys however but then guessed the lead singer Justin Timberlake for a total of 2 points.
caller - "Neverland" She didn't know it was Metallica and the lead singer was James Headfield for 0 points. 
Bobby - "I Need You Tonight" by INXS (though he guessed Prince) and he couldn't guess the lead singer Michael Hutchins for 0 points.
Rosie - "An Eternal Flame" She didn't know it was sung by The Bangles and that the lead singer was Susannah Hoff.  She got 0 points.
Pete - "Hungry Like a Wolf" He didn't know it was sung by Duran Duran and that the lead singer was Simon Lebon!  He got 0 points.

Which meant Rosie WON the game!

Rosie reminded listeners to get their tickets for Rosie O'Donnell Live at Town Hall with Special Guests on Friday, November 5th at 8pm!  CLICK HERE FOR TICKETS AND MORE INFORMATION!

Rosie closed the show taunting Pete that she won another game.

and that's what you missed -kw


  1. Boy I wish we could have heard this show and yesterday's new show on Sirius online. Old shows were aired yesterday the 25th and today the 26th. During the middle of the repeated Wynonna interview at about 3:35pm, the show abruptly switched to today's repeat!

  2. This is for the lady who is raising her daughter's baby as her own and not telling anyone the truth. This is a terrible idea. I grew up in a large family and I always considered my mother to be very honest and forthright. When she died I was heart broken over losing her until I found out that her life was based on secrets and lies. It really hurt me and shook my faith in the family unit - as a result I really don't trust that anything anyone tells me is the truth anymore. I have lost all love and respect for my mother and I have given up any contact with my family now that I see how dishonest they are. I will never understand why people think that their lies will never be found out and secrets cause so many problems and misunderstandings and ruin lives and relationships. If you love your family you would not put them through this. Where there is no trust - there is really nothing to build on and the feelings of betrayal and being treated as an idiot never really go away. She might want to read Jack Nicholson's story before she continues down this road.

  3. have not given my thanks lately...just wanted you to know that all the time you spend is well worth it for all rosie fans that don't get to listen. thank you, thank you for doing this for us!!

  4. Wow - the family secrets part was just shocking!

    There is a very well known old saying that says "Honesty is the best policy". What a mess people make of their lives when they try to cover up something with deception. I suspect the mother that raised her daughters child was more concerned with her own reputation than than that of her child. This is wrong on so many levels and it certainly will come out sometime in life. I can't imagine the feelings of betrayal this will cause. I feel sorry for the whole family.

    People need to deal with their issues and then move on. Cover-ups only delay the inevitable.

    Continued thanks to Kelly and crew for the update!

    Dennis - Fort Lauderdale

  5. Rosie...LOVE you, your crew and your show and listen daily. I've called several times to chime in on subjects but never get on :( Anyway, I can't resist saying that while I was taking my son for a walk in his stroller today, I was CRINGING in pain at the sad, sad performance at game time. Not to brag, but I knew them all except for the lead singer of Metallica (which I simply forgot). I hope one day I can play a game with you guys. It's a highlight of my day. Thank you for giving me so much entertainment during my sometimes mundane Mommy moments. Best to everyone, Laura

  6. Hey Kelly,
    Thanks for the update.

    My 26 yr old niece found out about a half brother after she turned 20. Her father had an fling during his divorce to her mother. She's never trusted her father, or her mother for that matter, since. She is so angry at the whole family that she has nearly divorced herself from all of us. She's had two DUIs and is struggling to identify herself in this world. I'm truly concerned for her safety and sanity.

    To the mother that is raising their grandchild as their own...Please please consider the child and how they will find out. My niece found out about her unknown half brother by another family's slip of the tongue, so you should consider that they may find this out anyway. Your teen (and you) need to fess up and accept that the secret will eventually come out. Carrying around that lie will cause stress, disease and untold sorrow.

    Thanks again Kelly.
    Lisa in Indy

  7. I have never written or called any show before but today I am compelled to do so. I am raising 4 adopted children - 3 of whom are teenagers. One of my teenagers has RAD. This summer we made the decision for him to attend a therapeutic boarding school. This decision was painfully made with the guidance of several experienced and trusted professionals. He has been at school for about 2 months. We are confident that he is in a good, safe and nurturing environment. From here we will slowly start to rebuild our relationhip with him. This is a long process to which we are deeply committed. We made this decision out of love for him and our whole family, and because we have hope for a better life for him. The therapist who called last night said that if parents "really loved" their children they would do anything to save them. She said this in the context of her disagreement with therapeutic boarding schools for adopted teens - her opinon that "sending them away" equated with giving up hope. Granted my perception of her comments may be skewed. However, this type of judgement and misunderstanding is hurtful to those of us who love our children, are devasted by the pain of abandonment that they endure every day, and who have a responsiblity to protect everyone in the home. I would encourage anyone interested or invested in this topic to take time to listen to others and understand that like many things, there is more than one way to treat and support these children and that parents are making the best decisions we can out of love and hope.