My thoughts on the past two shows.

Okay, I'm writing the daily recap but I have such strong thoughts on the past two shows I had to blog about it.  So while I'm recapping today's show, here are my thoughts.  

Today I think Rosie did a much better job explaining her position and I totally get what she was saying now. However, I think there was confusion that some people who disagreed with the celebrations were, in fact, judging those that were choosing to cheer. Now having heard clearer explanation, I better understand where she (and others who commented on the cheering) were coming from. However, I have heard people of the same opinion go beyond this statement, even to go so as far as to say things defending the man "he was a father," "we didn't know him," "he was extremely educated," etc.  Yes, he was all those things. And he was also full of hatred towards many people and planned very deadly attacks towards innocent human beings regardless of his education, whether he had children and whether or not you knew him personally. He did it and he admitted to it and in my mind, he needs no trial.  He got what he got because of what he did. Elementary thinking? Perhaps.

I think the outcry over the statements questioning the celebrations is all in the timing. Maybe it was too much maturity and contemplation too soon.  Maybe we needed to allow people to react the way they needed to, in every way.  I can only compare it to when my niece died when people immediately following her death said some things to me trying to look at the greater picture, when to me, they simply minimized my pain.  They said things like "everything happens for a reason," "she's now an angel up in heaven" (that helps if you believe that stuff but feels like a fairytale if you just held her dying body in your arms and think it's bullshit), "she's happier now with God," "she's in a better place," and "you will see her again someday." Three years later these things may hold some meaning but at the time, it only made me want to punch them in the face so they could feel as bad as I did.    Sometimes when someone is grieving all you can do is listen and nothing you can say, except acknowledge their pain, will be right. I think this might be the case for 9/11. It happened to the families of the victims in those towers, the families of those at the Pentagon and the families of the people on the plane in Shanksville. But in a way 9/11 happened to us all. And we are all still grieving. Some of us will celebrate in the streets that the perpetrator got caught, some of us will call our friends and say that we're so glad they caught the f-cker (as I did), and some will quietly cry as they remember the dead. And then some of us will be more mature and think of it in a global way and what it means for the world, for humanity. None of us are wrong in our response. We all grieve in our own way and we heal in our own way.

When I lost my niece I posted some pictures of the funeral on my flickr stream. I did it to share with family and friends who couldn't be there but I also did it for myself.   My father was very private in his grief and didn't understand the need for me to do be so public.  Perhaps, other people thought what I did was a horrific thing to do and couldn't understand it. But for me, it was my way to escape the pain at the moment and a way to share the contrast between the horror and the beauty in life. Steph died and every flower in the area bloomed. The hospital stank of darkness and death but when you walked outside the sun shone brightly and the ground was green and colorful. Life ended and new life was beginning right before your eyes. The contrast rang in my head over and over. Pain of the love you lost stabbed you in the chest and pain from the love people gave you hurt just as much.  It was like nothing I had ever seen or felt and I needed to take pictures of it to prove it to myself. It was MY way to grieve. And if someone had corrected me at the time, I too would have been very defensive. On May 8th it will be 3 years since that horrible day she died, since I faced death in the face and watched her little casket go into the ground. And again, the flowers are blooming and the birds are chirping to remind me. And I remember her like I do every year at this time.     

And as with my own tragedy, I would never choose to tell someone else how they should grieve. I took photos at her funeral. Would you have? Maybe not.   But I did.  In her case, there was no labelled perpetrator to be punished, but if there had been I sure as hell would have celebrated if they caught him. And if others cheered in the streets for her? I would kiss them for remembering. I did not see those celebrations as celebrating his death. I saw them as celebrating life, freedom, the military, our country, our resolve, our promise to those families. So, I guess it's all how you choose to see the images. But, like Rosie, I see how others in the world might see something different.  It just goes to show perception is reality. "We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." So true.

The real problem? Twitter and it's 140 characters or less. Can get you into trouble if you ask me. :)



  1. Great post, Kelly. I totally agree with you. Thanks for sharing your personal perception... many of us can feel comforted by your words...

  2. Hi Kelly!

    I completely agree with you...we don't always see things as they are, we see them how we want to.

    I personally have my own opinions about this whole situation that are probably not very popular, and I applaud your efforts.

    This is a wonderful blog and I really appreciate what you do for those of us that don't get to listen to the show.

    Take care,
    Mike from OKC

  3. Great post, Kelly! I am totally against capital punishment and yes, even abortion, because it is people killing people. Yet I did a loooong happy dance when I heard about bin Laden's death. In fact, my very first reaction was 'Gee, I hope he didn't just die of natural causes like kidney failure or something.' I wanted him dead by the hands of the US military. And I am downright jubilant about it - no apologies!

    I must say that I was rather disappointed in Rosie's comments the other day too. But I have come to realize from talking to so many others and reading a variety of perspectives, that none of our reactions is wrong. It's just our individuality shining thru and I respect their reactions just as I would hope they respect mine.

    Take care!

  4. I so agree with you Kelly! My mother died when I was young and the most comforting thing to me were the people that just held me and said nothing! As far as OBL, I have no problem with people wanting to celebrate. I just wish they hadn't broadcast it! I remember how I felt seeing people dancing in the streets after 9/11. It made me so angry. Love and blessings to you and your family. xoxo, Cheryl (CEAinCA)

  5. Kelly,

    What a heart felt, personal, and honest post. Thank you for taking the time to share it with all of us.

    I am so sorry about the loss of your niece.

    I have been fascinated with everyone's reaction, and I think of everything I have read, you presented the issues the best. It is so complicated. There are so many ways to look at things.

    Thank you so much.

  6. Kelly - I haven't even read the show yet but I saw your "pink" and had to read it. It was a wonderful insight into you. I thought it was perfectly said. Thank you!

    Dennis - Fort Lauderdale

  7. Thank you so much for sharing. I couldn't agree more. I appreciate your eloquence and honesty.

    Lora (AR)

  8. Thank you for your honesty and eloquence. I couldn't agree more. I am so sorry for the loss of your niece.

    Lora (AR)

  9. thanks as always Kelly for sharing your thoughts and feelings "in the pink" :)

    I told my kids that I was glad Evil was exstinquished but I had a hard time celebrating over someone's death, but that was my gut feeling and everyone had to follow their gut on what was right for them.

    difficult topic.


  10. After reading your post,Kelly, something came to mind. I did not lose anyone in 9/11. I have however lost a uncle and aunt to a ruthless heartless murderer. While I don't rejoice in the killing of Bin Laden, I have to say the same as Rosie. I was elated when they found my uncle and aunt's murderer, I guess those that lost someone to Bin Laden and all that went with him, have the right to feel the same. Side note, I don't think it is over. Good day everyone...

  11. Thank you for this, Kelly. I have a felt a mix of emotions and your blog just gave me the permission to allow those emotions to come how they are and not judge them. My Mom died 3 1/2 years ago and I felt the same as you. Anyone who handed me a dumb platitude, I wanted to punch. The ones who actually acknowledged that I had experienced a loss without saying something trite, meant the most.

    My best friend moved to NYC a year before 9/11. I spent most of that day thinking she might be dead. She was the first person I texted when I heard the news. If she feels the need to rejoice at his death, than I feel that is right. She was the one who lived through it and continues to since she still lives in NYC.

  12. Love to you, Kelly. That was beautifully written and tenderly sweet.

    : ) P

  13. Hrm, I posted my comment twice and it doesn't want to give me that little word verification thingie...

    Thing about judging is that we all do it-every single one of us on earth-it's human nature and what helps us choose our paths in life, friends, careers, ideals and convictions, etc. It's only when we disagree with or dislike certain judgments that most of us have a problem with judging. Imo, judging is only wrong when the judgment is baseless or infinite.

    I admit that I found the cheering and chanting of USA to be distasteful, so much so that I turned off the television. I don't believe that the majority (or really, even a minority) of those people were celebrating life, freedom, the military, our country, our resolve, our promise to those families. I think they were celebrating the fact that the US had just killed Osama Bin Laden and the posts I've seen all over FB with such things like "that fucker is dead, hell yeah, we killed him, etc" is just another indication of why I hold that belief. And that's okay. No one's reaction to OBL's death is right or wrong-nor is anyone's reaction *to* that reaction.

    My main problem is that the US has, for a long time, absorbed this deluded mentality that we (our government) are above question or reproach-which is shamefully ironic considering that question and reproach is the foundation on which this country was built.

    So...imo, it's more than ok to remember that Osama was the son of someone/he was a human being/smart man as long as we also remember that he was a man who perpetuated murders and cheered when it happened. And on the other side of the token, so too should we remember that we are the United States of America and our actions should be held up to question-including how/when we execute a man who perpetuated murders and cheer for his death.

  14. Great post. I think you put it very well, and show why Rosie and her team don't quite get it on this issue