In case you missed it...

I first want to start by giving a shout-out to the blogtourage that was chatting on the ShadyCam during today's show! Hey Rosie peeps!! xo

• Rosie started today's show singing along gleefully and saying that after two snow days and the weekend she's come to the conclusion that kids are annoying. I've been telling you that for years, Ro! And Rosie followed that up with a story of how her oldest son Parker wouldn't get out of bed this morning. Apparently Parker had no problem playing Warhammer all weekend with friends but wouldn't get out of bed this morning for school.

• Jeannie had a horrible weekend with her teen daughter. Her daughter was sick but went to go out last night with friends and her daughter didn't want to go to school this morning. Jeannie felt that if you spend the whole day with your friends you are well enough to go to school. Jeannie called the school this morning to make SURE her daughter was in school today. Rosie and Jeannie talked about the fight they have to go through to get their kids to go to school. Jeannie also talked about the struggles she's having with her daughter because she's getting incredibly good grades except for she's almost failing gym. Janette talked about how ridiculous it is at the notion that a child might not get into college for failing gym.

• Rosie said that her youngest daughter Vivi fell and knocked out one of her baby teeth this weekend and then got very upset because Blake was very mean to her about it. Vivi and Rosie stayed home that night to have a little mother-daughter bonding time, but while Tracy took the rest of the kids out to eat, Blake had to stay in his room for what he had said to Vivi. Blake got really upset that he couldn't go to the restaurant too and he was punished from TV. Later on, Blake apologized and asked to watch TV and Rosie said he could but that Vivi got to choose the TV shows they watched. And he still complained about Vivi's TV choices. Jeannie talked about how as parents, you lose objectivity and follow through with your own kids because you love them unconditionally. She said it's easier to work with kids who are not your own. They had a long supportive conversation on trying to get teens to behave. Rosie said that Tracy once told her daughter, "I am going to go to school with you, then." and it worked. You try to find that one thing that would punish them enough to get them to comply. For Tracy's daughter, it was the threat that her mom would come to school with her! Jeannie talked about how she is on a first name basis with her daughter's attendance office and the administrators at her school. They also had a conversation about breaking trust with your parents. Janette reminded them that they too once rebelled and did all these things that they are accusing their children of doing.

• The President of Board of Education (from some unnamed southern state) called in to discuss how problematic the gym issue is with students. He congratulated Jeanie and Rosie for being such good mothers and made them both cry because they had such a bad weekend with their teens.

• This conversation somehow led to the news-story about Marie Osmond's 18 year old son Michael, who committed suicide on Friday. Michael, who allegedly suffered from a life-long battle with depression, jumped to his death from a downtown Los Angeles apartment building. Michael had entered a rehab facility in 2007, though the nature of what he was treated for was never disclosed. Rosie and the staff talked about how sad this news was. :(

• Rosie told a story about speaking at a (I believe it was a National Council of Suicide Prevention) meeting and how palpable the grief was in the room from the parents who had lost a child to suicide. She described the grief like non other that she had ever experienced and how "every person's eyes felt like they did not end." They talked some about suicide and how it effects families. She also asked how one goes on after losing a loved-one to suicide.

• A listener who called in who lost her brother the same way as Marie Osmond lost her son. Rosie asked how they got through it and the caller said therapy, support from friends and religion. Rosie recommended the documentary Boy Interrupted about a boy who is diagnosed as bipolar who jumps to his death. Jeannie said she once attempted suicide in "an attention seeking way." Rosie said she has never been suicidal. Janette mentioned that she has read that many teenage suicide deaths aren't really intentional, that they didn't really intend to die, they just wanted help.

• Rosie took many callers discussing mental illness, suicide attempts, seduction of suicidal thoughts, resource books about depression and suicidal thoughts, etc.

Lou played the song In My Life by Bette Midler.

• Rosie talked about some people she knows that battle depression and how those that are parents say that's the one place they won't allow themselves to go (re: thoughts of suicide). She also described why people say "suicide runs in families." She said that people in a family who have suffered a loss from suicide then see death as a viable option for making pain go away. Rosie talked about how after the Columbine High School massacre she was the most depressed she has ever been. Rosie said she didn't really understand why except that she thought that fame would fix all the ills of the world. After Columbine Rosie said she remembers one particular day where she was incredibly sad and could hear the kids downstairs and she thought "I wish I could be dead" and her next thought was "I need to get help." Rosie said she couldn't work or sleep and had nightmares. Janette said she seemed "almost empty." Rosie said she thanks God that she went on medication at the time because she doesn't know how she would have been able to survive 9/11.

• Janette says she indulges in thinking about suicide almost once a week and said she knows exactly how she would do it but doesn't ever get that far. Jeannie said she doesn't consider it because the thought of leaving their kids without a mom horrifies her. Rosie talked to a caller about releasing yourself from the guilt if you're a family member or friend of someone who committed suicide.

• Rosie talked about Pat Maravel, her second mother, and how she loved Rosie back to life and how you just need one person to love you. Read Rosie write about Pat in her own words. Rosie talked about how it sometimes only takes one person to make a difference in someone's life.

• At that point Sharon Gless called in (who was a scheduled interview for today's show) and offered to do the interview with Rosie another day. Rosie said could not love her more and that she was Tracy's crush growing up.

Lou played...
Wait It Out by Imogen Heap

• Rosie talked to a member of the Armed Services who called in and suffers from depression, alcoholism, PTSD and has had thoughts of suicide. The caller said there are three suicides a week on his base not to mention all the "accidentals" that the military doesn't count as suicides. He talked about how the military doesn't come forward with these statistics and Rosie called it a "sin and a crime" that the military won't be truthful about the suicide rate of our military. He recommended the book The Day The Moon Didn't Shine by K.A. Werline to Rosie and she said not only would she read the book but she would book the author on the show.

• Rosie then took many many callers who discussed battling depression and substance abuse and losing loved ones to suicide, and people who have battled their own thoughts of suicide.

Suicide Hot Line: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
LGBT Youth Suicide Hotline: 1-866-4-U-TREVOR

Rosie sounded heartbroken and sad. The show took a definite toll on her. Which leads me to my own story. I suppose everyone has their own story - someone they know that committed suicide or struggled with it. When I was in college at Ohio Wesleyan, a sorority sister of mine got into her car one day, drove to her house and took her father's shotgun and blew her brains out in her bedroom. Her parents found her. I wasn't super close to her as she was a couple years younger than me. She was a friend but she was not my roommate or my best friend. I remember her teaching us to country line dance on pledge night. She had a sweet smile and never a mean thing to say about anyone. I remember how much it devastated my sorority, how it devastated her family, how we struggled looking for answers. I feel for everyone who has had to deal with suicide in their lives. My mom wrote a poem for her that I read at a memorial we had for her on campus. I thought I would share it with you all....

One, Taken to Heart....
for Wendy
by Sara Holbrook (my mom)

A book
so much a part of our lives, seems lost.
Fallen, somewhere, out of place.
We drag about the house in heavy shoes,
examining the empty room.
We open the blinds, wash our eyes, and search the shelf for answers.
What could I have done with that book?
Where did I see it last?
Could a book just wander off like that?
Questions to throw at the moon,
while standing in the shadows,
remembering the story.

The story.
Remember the time?
The page?
The chapter?
Remember the smile?
A book can get lost, disappear, or simply fall to pieces,
but a story plays forever once we've taken it to heart.
And for the rest of what each of us will know of eternity,
whenever we drag about the house in heavy shoes,
wash our eyes, and search the shelf for answers,
the story will survive to coax us from the empty room
and back into the moonlight:
A sister,
teaching us to dance.

What I Wouldn't Give by Holly Brook

Feeling like I can't forgive
But I want to
It's like I don't know how to live
I'm afraid to
I used to think, take them as they come
Without hesitation, no
Now it's like my head is filled with lies
And persuasions
As the sun begins to fall
I hear her calling out to me
She's saying, hurry it's one more day gone

What I wouldn't give just to forget
So I can remember how to live again
I want to live again

I'm feeling dissonant
And distracted
Toxic chemicals are spilling in my head
And they're bleeding deadly reactions
As the moon begins to rise
It shows me all the colours
That I'm hiding, I'm hiding myself

What I wouldn't give just to forget
What I wouldn't give to get some rest
So I can remember how to live again
I want to live again

Am I desperately losing this fight
When I should really be choosing my flight
Take me
take me
take me now

What I wouldn't give just to forget
What I wouldn't give to get some rest
So I can remember how to live again
I want to live again

What I wouldn't give just to forget
What I wouldn't give to get some rest
What I wouldn't give just to forget
So I can remember how to live


  1. Kelly, thank you. You (and your mother's poem) found a way to make a sad topic really beautiful.

    : ) P

  2. Did a great job today, was a somber show to recap but you did great! Was also nice chatting with you on shady cam hehe from your gusband!

  3. TY Kelly for your expressing the sentiments of today's show.....not easy....i hope the show reached people who have affected by suicide.....i think it's a very hard topic to discuss and makes a lot of people uncomfortable but it needs to be brought out in the open and Rosie is someone who can really listen and bring out the people who need to share like the callers did today

    thanks for sharing your mom's beautiful tribute poem

  4. Okay, now I'm crying. Like you said, everyone has a story. In my small hometown, our senior class had about 30 boys. Of those 30 boys, five of them have killed themselves since we graduated. Everyone has a story, and I just wish they had lived long enough to see that theirs would have had a happy ending. Now, we miss them. We cry for them. We cry for the families left behind. We cry for what we weren't able to do - to break through. Not that we should expect that of ourselves. But we want to have been able to have saved them.

  5. Wow..What a heavy show today..Not sure what else I can say right now.

    Kelly..Thankyou and your MOM xo

  6. Thanks everyone for commenting. I was a bit distracted during the end of today's show. Rosie has a unique ability to "let herself go there" inside the saddness of others and I fight it. I never want to go "there" not even for my own grief. I think grief itself scares me, that I won't find my way back out. So today's show was hard to listen to. Thanks for reading and commenting.

    Arthur, you are my ghusband for sure.
    Heidi, AG and Petra, 3 of my best commentors. TY
    Welcome Star Char!

  7. Hey Rosie I just got a google alert and followed the links and Isee that my book was mentioned on your show. who ever the caller was and whatever he/she said about my book must have had some type of impact on them I also suffer from PTSD and talk with many people who also suffer from it I wish the best for the caller and you. I'm going to go get sirius Xm soon so I can listen to your show. Thanks for talking about PTSD and the military. Thank you

  8. Thanks for your mother's poem. I am also a poet. Today's show makes me think of a poem by W.S. Merwin. There is hope, even in grief.


    At midsummer before dawn an orange light returns to the
    Like a great weight and the small birds cry out
    And bear it up

  9. thank you for this blog. i cant seem to talk my husband into paying the extra money a month to listen online. very cool of you to do.
    Kelly J

  10. I used to crave that Holly Brook song. Great reference.

  11. Your mother's poem: thank you for sharing this gift. Gratefully, Mary Helene

  12. I am a psychologist with 25+ years of experience in treating combat PTSD and civilian grief.

    I am very troubled by the fact that most of the psychological treatments being offered to our men and women returning from Iraq and Afghanistan are generally out-dated and ineffective. The most frustrating part of this for me is that there are new treament methods that are very effective, and can make a huge difference in the quality of life for our most deserving veterans. Thanks for listening.