7-29-10 - "The Show All About Family"

In case you missed it...

Rosie said it's only 10am and she's already had a parenting crisis.  Rosie has a 12 year old daughter named Chelsea who has been told she's not allowed to use the phone or to text.  Right now Chelsea is with Rosie's Ex visiting her grandparents in Louisiana and she got caught texting a 15 year old boy with her grandfather's Blackberry!   Rosie asked the staff if any of them had seen the movie Thirteen and said that she remembers originally watching it thinking it was all bullshit.  Now she's worried!  She said Chelsea is not at that point yet but she fears that could be her future.   Deirdre said that she wouldn't want to be a teen today and Janette said she wouldn't want to be a mother today. Rosie was watching the Biography special on her life and recalled what Suzanne Somers had said about Rosie not having a  mother growing up and never going through some of the things we have all gone through with our moms.   Rosie said when her friends would be mean to their mothers she remembers calling them out on it and telling them to just appreciate having a mom.  She never experienced the rebellion and breakaway from her mother.  Not having a mother has been the most defining aspect of Rosie's life.

Rosie remarked at how much easier it is to raise sons than daughters.  She said her boys, Blake and Parker, are like Velcro on her and tell her all their feelings.  It's not like that with Chelsea.  Deirdre assured Rosie that she went through the same thing with her mom.  Rosie said she needs a mom/teen support group.  Rosie had one huge disagreement with Parker ever.  A few years ago Blake had been battling with his learning disability and they were having to make all these concessions for Blake so he wouldn't have an explosion.  He had left a toy in a restaurant so Rosie ran back into the restaurant to retrieve it and when she got back to the car Parker was complaining about having to miss a show or an event and called Blake a retard.  This was also during the time that Rosie and Kelli were having problems.  Rosie admitted she snapped on Parker and when they got home she hit him in the head with a soft-covered dictionary.  After the fight she couldn't bear that she had hit him and took to her bed for several days, she got physically sick and could not stop crying.  She pleaded with Parker and told him that they could not have these fights.  She said that she loved him too much and she was too unstable to be having these huge arguments.  They never fought like that again. 

Rosie was at a foundation dinner last night for her charity Rosie's Broadway Kids and she had a long conversation with one of the Board of Directors, Nancy Coyne, whom Rosie said is a lovely woman.  Nancy talked with Rosie all about the struggles she is having with Chelsea and the struggles she had with her own teenage daughter who is now in her 30s and doing fine.  She tried to reassure Rosie that it's all normal.  Rosie also called her friend Natasha Lyonne last night who was herself a rebellious teenager and almost killed herself abusing drugs. Natasha told Rosie that sometimes there's not a lot that you as a parent can do.  She told Rosie that it's Chelsea's journey and sometimes they are in each other's lives to just teach each other lessons.

Bobby said that he once made his mom so mad she threw a desk at him!  Pete's response to this story was AWESOME! And he asked if she had super powers?  Rosie assured listeners that Chelsea does not listen to the radio and not to write to her on her blog and tell her that she's acting out because Rosie keeps talking about her on the radio.   

Rosie said that a lot of what Chelsea is going through also has to do with finding her own identity and her struggles with being adopted.  Rosie talked about the love she has for Chelsea and how she has told her that she is the star of the movie of her life and asked her if this is how she wants her movie to go? If she wants to be the rebellious teen that is always in struggles with her parents?

Chelsea even pushed Rosie once and Rosie had to advise Chelsea that she has rage issues and if she wants to stay alive she shouldn't push her.  Janette once hit her great Aunt Marty and has forever regretted doing it.  Janette pleaded with Rosie to not invalidate the good she has done as a mother because Chelsea has poor impulse control.  Rosie also admitted that being she is a lesbian she doesn't understand the boy craziness that Chelsea is going through.  In addition to that, Rosie had sex abuse issues so sex was never something Rosie wanted to do.  They talked about the sexualized society we live in today and sex on T.V.  Rosie said that Chelsea doesn't watch a lot of T.V. and all of her friends are from the Waldorf school she has been attending her entire life.

Rosie talked about the frustrations she has with teen clothes including the "booty shorts."  Chelsea has told her moms that she doesn't want to wear "boy shorts" like Rosie and Kelli wear. 

A listener called in who was going through exactly what Rosie was going through with her teen-aged daughter.  They discussed their teens, sexting and how oral sex has become normal teenage behavior. The caller was a recovering alcoholic and Rosie talked with her about how that adds another layer to the teen issues as does Chelsea's issues with her being adopted.  

Rosie is really worried because Chelsea looks much older for her actual age and she gets lots of attention from older men.  Rosie even is worried that Chelsea enjoys the attention she gets! 

Natasha and Tracy have told Rosie that Chelsea has her own destiny to live out and all she can do is lead her in the right direction.  Janette reminded Rosie that Chelsea is not her.

Rosie took a call from a listener who talked about his struggle with his adopted teenage son.  The caller had originally adopted his 5 year old son and it went very well.  Then he adopted his son's older sibling, who was 12 at the time, and has been through many struggles with the teen.  Rosie related that story to her girlfriend Tracy who adopted the older siblings of her younger children too.  Rosie said she has such empathy for the older adopted teens because they lived in foster homes for years. 

Rosie has always been supportive to Chelsea when she talks about wanting to meet her birth family.  She has told her that as soon as she turns 18 she's allowed to go and meet her birth mom.  Chelsea has always expressed the desire to know her birth-mom.  When Chelsea was only three years old there were princesses on her curtains in her bedroom and Chelsea asked if that was her "tummy mommy" in the curtains because of the resemblance.  Parker and Blake have never really shown an interest.  Rosie and Janette talked about how meeting a birth family or birth mother might not alwways be what you hope it will be.  Rosie did say that years ago after a ferry accident in NYC Parker was so upset by it he cried and looked at Rosie and said "Why didn't my parents want me?" 

Rosie wanted to talk about what it's like to have someone in your life who's obese and how people deal with it.  She said that her Ex Kelli and her now girlfriend Tracy, have both expressed concern to Rosie about her weight because of the negative effects on her health.  Tracy doesn't want Rosie to die young and wants her to take better care of herself.  Rosie said there's a huge denial aspect of it for her when it comes to her weight.  She has been watching Season 3 of Ruby and she's even going to be on the reality series next season because she and Ruby have become friends!  In the episode she watched recently there was a moment when Ruby had the realization that she was fat.  She was 700 pounds and didn't realize she was fat.  She talked about how deep the denial goes and wondered if there was anything a loved one could do to help you out of that denial? 

Brendan shared a story about his father who is overweight.  Brendan is not overweight at all but his father is almost 300 pounds.  After his father turned 60 he started worrying about losing him.  His father doesn't sleep well and always falls asleep when sitting.  One night his father fell asleep sitting up in his chair with his head back and seeing him that way scared Brendan.  Brendan started having tremendous guilt for never  saying anything to him about his weight.  He opened up to his mom about it and she revealed that his father's weight has been a struggle for them for their entire marriage.  His mom cried when Brendan talked to her about it partly because of her own guilt.

Brendan decided to call his dad and tell him that he wouldn't be able to go with him on the family vacation if his bad behavior and bad living habits didn't change.  He told him he couldn't sit back and support it anymore.  His father also drinks, but he's not an alcoholic.  He drinks and eats everything in excess.  His father explained to Brendan that he had his own plan and he would have to lose the weight at his own pace.  Brendan's dad has since gone on a diet and although he hasn't seen him in several months, he hears from his mom that he has lost some weight and there have been some improvements in his eating habits.  

Brendan said he feared he would hurt his father by talking to him about his weight but what he really wanted to say to him was that he loved him and he didn't want him to die.  Rosie is really discouraged by her own weight and how she looks in pictures and she knows it's not healthy.  Rosie took a call from a listener who said that there's nothing anyone can say to her to convince her to change and she has to make the decision about what she chooses to eat.  But Brendan thinks that him saying something to his father helped his father make some changes and awaken from his denial.

Bobby, who has lost over 100 pounds, was confronted by Rosie after his friends all got together and came to her to tell her that they were worried about his weight.  Bobby thanks Rosie's intervention for saving his life and said that for him it was about facing the problem head on and trying to solve it.  He said he was in denial about his weight and how it was effecting his life. Bobby thinks that Rosie intervening definitely saved his life. 

Janette was a heavy child and teen and it wasn't until she became an adult that she lost a significant amount of weight.  She said for her it was primarily emotional eating.  Janette has always admitted to herself that she was fat and that being fat was her reality.  She said that nothing that anyone has ever said to her regarding her weight made the slightest bit of difference except to drive her away from that person.  She has never struggled with denial over her weight and feels that the desire to lose weight needs to come from within. 

Rosie said that the denial about her weight also spills onto other people around her.  When she went to the Fashion to Figure store in the mall the woman recommended Rosie buy a 1X so she did.  Rosie refuses to try on clothes in stores in fear that someone will see her change.  Half of the items she purchased were too small for her!  She said the denial is even apparent in the way other people see her. 

Janette said that in general, Rosie doesn't take care of herself enough.  (Rosie joked and fired her)  Janette doesn't think Rosie has enough  self-love and self-forgiveness.  Rosie said that none of them are fat because they simply eat too much, they all have issues they're dealing with.  Rosie wondered how much the overeating actually differs from alcoholism?  Janette said you cannot make someone change but you can inspire them to do so. 

Rosie took a call from a listener who had an intervention with his daughter.  She had been overweight her entire life and now as an adult she was especially overweight.  She had a miscarriage and was sure that the extra weight had something to do with it.  He and his wife offered to pay for her to have a stomach reduction surgery and she's never been happier!  Rosie said that she knows that millions of people have stomach surgery to lose weight and she knows many people who have done it and gained the weight back.  Rosie told the caller he was a great father for being so willing to discuss the issues with his daughter and to help her in the way that he did.   

I struggle with my weight too.  This was a tough conversation for me.  I need to lose about 40 pounds and every time I begin a diet I fail.  It's depressing as hell.  I think for me I just eat TOO MUCH food.  I wish I had a sponsor I could call to talk about it.  I think that would help me a lot.  :(

Rosie then introduced Mary Trunk who was on the phone to discuss her documentary The Watershed.  The Watershed is a documentary about Mary's extraordinary struggle she faced with her six siblings after they lost both parents to alcoholism and divorce.  Watch a free preview HERE.  Mary decided to do the documentary after she graduated from film school and she enrolled in a screenwriting class.  Rosie said that the documentary reminded her of The Glass Castle only covering a different issue.

Mary said she and her parents and siblings lived in Long Island until she turned 11 when they moved to California.  She said they were the perfect upper-middle class family.  When they lived in New York their life was ideal and once they came to California her father left her mother for another woman.  He eventually lost his job and she and her siblings spiraled into a world of poverty, welfare and food stamps.  And her mother started drinking heavily.  Mary said they were very good at keeping up appearances so that people didn't know about what was going on inside her home but about 3 or 4 years after her father left her mother her mother got very sick from alcohol and a neighbor stepped in.  She and her siblings lived with their Aunt and Uncle for a year who were then raising their own 3 kids at the time.  Rosie loves Mary's Aunt and Uncle and the scene in the documentary when her Uncle cried.  Mary said they lived with her Aunt and Uncle for about a year and it was really a magical time.  They had been living with no food. 

It was Mary's sister Maggie who wrote in to Rosie through her blog and told her about her sister's documentary.  In the film Mary talks about how Maggie would pretend to have a scavenger hunt and put food on the list in order to get something to eat.  Mary said that she and her siblings were all survivors and her brother sold his mother's wedding ring for 50 cents so he could buy lunch at school one day. 

Rosie asked Mary if she was very angry when she was interviewing her father because Rosie couldn't believe some of the things he said in the film.  Mary explained that she worked very hard to keep him talking and to not get him defensive.    

In the film Mary discusses how divorce at the time was such a stigma and Rosie said she remembered when her childhood friend Jackie's parents got divorced and how scandalous it was at the time.  Rosie said that it was hard for her to even tell people that her mother had passed away and she remembers solicitors calling the house and asking to speak to her mother and Rosie would tell them that she was in the shower.  She was too embarrassed to tell them that her mother had died. 

Rosie asked Mary how she and her siblings have stayed so close?  Mary explained that she and her siblings are all very close in age and their parents always treated them as a unit without a lot of individuality.  She said that feeling transferred to them feeling like a unit as they got older too.  They still get together every year on the anniversary of their mother's death.

Mary feels like through making "The Watershed" she was able to learn who her parents really were and why they became that way.  In the end she ended up feeling compassion for them.  Rosie recommended her listeners get The Watershed on Amazon Video on Demand

Rosie asked Brendan and Pete about President Obama who had been on The View during today's broadcast.   The other day the staff of Rosie Radio discussed Obama being on the View for about 20 seconds on the air and every media station was talking about what she said!  Here's a link to a Huffington Post article about itI have to agree.  She mentioned the topic so briefly that I didn't even cover it in my recap.  It was almost an afterthought!  I couldn't believe when I saw her quote everywhere on the Internet.  Wild.  Brendan didn't hear the interview but had The View on muste during today's program and said it looked exactly like when Obama was on the campaign trail.  Brendan said that that's when he realized why Obama would even do that program, he's trying to tell people that he's still the same guy that they voted for.  Rosie thinks that Obama needs to run the country and going on The View seems like a frivolous thing to do. Janette said that all politicians ever do is campaign.  Bobby watched the White House Communications Director yesterday who said that Obama does these types of programs in order to get a message out to people who he might not normally reach on the typical news programs.  They talked about how it feels odd when a sitting President does daytime talk shows like Oprah and the View.  Bobby thinks the media has changed today and Presidents need to use many different ways to reach the people. 

Brendan introduced a new game where he read off a famous line in a movie quote and the player had to finish the line.  (answers below)

1. Shoshana - "I'm gonna make him an ______"  She got it (with a lot of hints). 
2. Rosie - "Surely, you can't be serious.  I am serious and _______."  She got it.
3. Pete - "Nobody puts baby ______."   (Pete said "in the blender!") He was OUT.
4. Janette - "I'll get you my pretty and ____________."  She got it.
5. Bobby - Frankly my dear ________."  He got it. 

6. Shoshana - "Of all the gins joints, in all the towns, in all the world __________." She didn't get it so she was OUT.
7. Rosie - "I'm mad as hell and ___________."  She got it. 
8. Pete - (even though he was out they let him try) "Ray, when someone asks you if you're a God _______."
9. Janette - "Take your stinking paws off me ___________."  She didn't get it so she was OUT.
10. Bobby - "My name is Montego Montoya ______"  Everyone said it in unison before Brendan could even finish so Bobby got another one. 
11. Bobby -  "You know how to whistle Steve. ______________." He got it.
12. Rosie -  "Oh no, it wasn't the airplanes it was ___________."  She didn't get it so Bobby WON!

Bobby actually stole Rosie's because she didn't know it and he won!  He's got one sticker on the game board for the month of July! 

1. "offer he can't refuse." 2. "don't call me Shirley."  3. "in the corner." 4. "and your little dog too." 5. "I don't give a damn." 6. "she walks into mine."  7. "I'm not going to take it anymore."  8. "you always say yes."  9. "you damn dirty ape." 10. "You killed my father.  Prepare to die." 11. "you just put your lips together and blow." 12. "the beauty that killed the beast."

Rosie closed the show.

and that's what you missed - kw


  1. If all of Chelsea's friends are from school then the 15 year old boy she's texting attends Waldorf, right? Time for a Mom to Mom phone call.

  2. It's lovely that they talk about subjects that normal mother's and father's are struggling with every day. Kudos.

  3. Rosie.com has a link to your website! Did she talk about your recap on the radio? I love your site and am so happy you do it, it's how I spend my afternoon work break!
    Also as far as the weight goes, you need to find a friend/person who will give it to you straight. So often our friends don't want to hurt our feelings and so they say oh you don't need to lose weight. But the reality is, when I go to sit down and have a cookie that then turns into 3 or 5 I can totally justify it and make excuses, I need someone who can tell me NO EXCUSES, everyone has time in their day to do SOME kind of exercise and everyone can stop at 1 cookie!!! :)

  4. One more thing re: weight. I think you and/or your readers might be interested in the book Fat Girl by Judith Moore. It's a fantastic read.

  5. Anon, totally agree if they are really seeing each other it's always good to have the moms on the same page.

    Jamie, Rosie Radio didn't mention the blog but I do officially write the recap for them. :) They link here so that people can see what they've missed but they don't always verbalize it. And people thank me all the time but the thanks should be sent to Rosie. Without her agreeing to make it possible for me to continue, there wouldn't be a recap blog anymore. So she deserves all the credit. And regarding weight, I think sometimes I don't want to be skinny enough. Because if I did, I would do what I had to do to make it happen. I must not want it that bad. IDK if that makes sense.

    Franco, I'll look into your book!

    Thanks for the comments! I wish more people would comment!


  6. I got to listen today! It was depressing lol. But, that Watershed doc sounded amazing.

    You do this blog without missing a beat, Kw! (And, yes, thank you Rosie for letting Kelly do this blog!!) :)


  7. I haven't listened to the show in 3 days so I'm just reading about today's show. ...I've struggled with weight and body image issues most of my life. ..Kelly I know we have alot in common and just say the word..I think we can both support each other. :)

  8. OMG, today's show was like hearing my inner monologue on the radio when it comes to body issues. I had gastric bypass and have lost 70 pounds so far. But any time someone tried to talk to me about my weight, I would immediately put up my walls and get annoyed. They were pointing out things about myself that I already knew but chose not to acknowledge on a daily basis. I didn't do anything about it until I was ready to do it. I also really understand what Ro was saying about using your fat to stay invisible and to keep people away. I totally did that for a long time and now it's not so easy and I'm not comfortable with all the "new" attention that I've been getting. It's hard when your insides don't match your outside.

  9. I stopped struggling with my weight years ago, but I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes last November. I changed my lifestyle. I went vegan and started walking and swimming. I adore food and think about it all the time, not because I'm hungry because I am having fun cooking again and visiting local Farmers Markets for organic fruits and veggies. I do go out to eat, but only eat half because the portions are so large. Why did it take a health scare for me to change my food habits. I don't know, but I am loving my life a lot more these days - I have lost 60 pounds.

  10. "Jeannie and Rosie mentioned how they do not want Jillian Michaels on the show to help them lose weight because they both said she scares them. (Sorry Heidi and Michele!)"

    ...I'm just read this now from Tues show! I'm so upset!!! ..Rosie and Jeanne..I promise you she will not scare u on the radio! Just give her a chance...I've got to change your minds some how..I
    m determined!

  11. For anyone interested, I've been on a diet that really works and has the most supportive group I've ever "met." For info, go to www.hcgmiracle.com or to the hcgmiracle page on facebook. You won't be disappointed. Rosie talks about eliminating sugar, soda, alcohol, white flour... This diet does all that for a SHORT time for a LIFE time of payoff.

  12. Hi Kelly,

    Two years ago I saw a photo of me at a wedding, I just couldn't believe that was me: am I really that fat? I was in total denial right until that moment. I needed to lose 30 pounds in order for me to go back to my old self, so I started looking at the possibilities. I ended up joining weight watchers because a cousin of mine had lost over 60 pounds and kept most of it off for over 10 years with it. I knew I had to try it... well, WW is kind of like AA, you get to talk to other people that are going through the same stuff you are: body issues, denial issues, emotional issues, physical issues, a family, a job, a house to run, the meeting leader is always a person who has lost weight through the program and they are always willing to be somebody's sponsor/friend/shoulder to cry on. I know I sound like an infomercial for them but I assure you I am not, I am just living proof that it works: it's been a year since I reached my goal and I have been able to maintain while still living my life, going out, enjoying the occasional glass of wine. You can see my before and after photo by clicking on my name here. I really hope you give yourself the opportunity to be happy with who you are and how you look :D

    P.S. thanks for all of you hard work with this blog.

  13. kelly, appreciate your recap as always (and thanks Rosie for supporting it),

    just wanted to mention another angle that might be useful to add to the show's coverage of 'food issues' and that also might be helpful to others here: the book 'women, food, and god' by geneen roth addresses the spiritual dimension of eating and women's relationships with food (though, I imagine, the book's principles would resonate with plenty of men, too). geneen roth was on oprah a few times in the last several months and i was struck by how she seems to get to the core of the whole issue: loving oneself, and one's relationship to spirit (source, god, etc - whatever you choose to call that loving energy of the universe).

    i don't have that much of a weight issue per se (though having had a high metabolism my whole life, pre-menopause has brought weight gain and bloating that i'd never encountered before), but i've had issues with sugar and unhealthy eating. over the last several years, i've changed my diet, eat mostly organic grains, legumes, vegetables, and fruits. but the whole journey for me has been about coming to love myself and my body, to see it as sacred and to release and shift from all the negative messages about myself that i was given as a young person (both by family dynamics and by society).

    and kelly, i know how you feel but i just want to say, you don't have to give yourself a hard time - we're all doing the best we can at any given moment and this is a difficult issue to make change around (and it doesn't help that we're bombarded with advertisements, media texts, grocery stores, and restaurants all trying to push us into consuming unhealthy food). plus, given the emotional aspect, there's a reason that even if we fervently desire to change, that we're not able to translate that desire automatically into a change in behavior.

    love & a big hug from a (rosie & rosieradio recap) fan in memphis,

  14. Just a note about the quiz.

    INIGO MONTOYA, not Montego Montoya - from the movie, "The Princess Bride."

    Thanks for doing the Recap.

  15. I read your recap everyday and I haven't commented but I appreciate your efforts! I really do. Thanks to you and Rosie for posting this.

    Post surgical Menopause - Gosh, I hate this. I can't sleep, I am hungry constantly, I eat too much, too often and don't have the motivation to exercise. I gained 40 lbs in 6 months (4 yrs ago) but have been working on losing it for the past year. I quit smoking (after 30 yrs) and that has helped. I went this week to a doctor that specializes in bio-identical hormones to see if I can get back on track to my former skinny self (I was about 140 back then).

    I live in Indy and haven't made any friends since moving here last fall so it's even harder for me. I don't have a support network.

    Good luck with your diet and exercise. Just go for a walk! That's the only way to start.

    Thanks again.
    Lisa in Indy

  16. Hi Kelly,

    Thanks as always for your blog!

    You said you wished you had a sponsor -- have you thought of FA? (Food Addicts) It's based on the AA principle, and from what I hear from friends, it works miracles. Of course, the miracle starts from within you. It just sounded like you were reaching out for help -- I hope you get some. Good luck and love, Jessica