2-2-10

In case you missed it...

• Deirdre talked about going to the eye doctor how she was prescribed Latisse for her broken eyelashes which horrified Janette. Janette then proceeded to list off the "scary side effects" of Latisse including "darkening of the eyelid skin," "possible permanent increase in the brown part of the eye" and "possible hair growth in places other than your eye area." They talked about how doctors are in cahoots with the pharmaceutical companies and the need to be wary of prescriptions.

• Rosie watched the show Life Unexpected last night with Chelsea, about a 16 year old girl (who Rosie said looks like Sophie B. Hawkins) who is a child of foster care that searches for her birth parents. In the show, the girl's birth mother is a radio talk show host and it turns out this girl has been listening to her birth-mother on the radio her whole life. The birth mother and birth father reunite on the show and become romantic again. Rosie's daughter Chelsea has been dealing with being adopted lately and they watched this show together and it brought up a lot of conversation between the two of them. Rosie talked about the fantasies that adopted kids have about finding their birth parents and how this show is every adopted kid's fantasy. They then took some callers to discuss being adopted and having adopted children.

• Janette shared her own very personal story of searching for her mother who abandoned Janette when she was only a year and a half old. When Janette came back from the Congo (as an adult) from a medical mission she finally decided it was time to go find her mother. Janette ended up meeting her mother's sister and she recognized her because this woman (her biological aunt) looked like her grandmother who her mother once took her to meet as a very very young child. Janette talked about finally being able to forgive her mother for leaving her because of a story she heard about her. Janette's mother would sneak out on Janette's father in the middle of the night to go dancing and she actually left Janette's father for the man she would dance with. After Janette's mother got married to this man she asked him to go dancing and he told her "I hate dancing, I just did that to get you." Janette finally forgave her mother because she realized all she wanted to do was dance - so badly that she abandoned her children for it - and she still didn't get to dance. It was then that Janette saw her mother in herself for the first time. Janette thinks perhaps the reason she didn't want to have kids was because she was afraid she would reenact this history and leave them like her mother once left her. Rosie thought that the reason Janette finally wanted to go find her mother after she had recently come back from the Congo was because she had walled off her heart and emotions until she went to some place (like the Congo) and it "blew the door off her heart." Beautifully said Rosie. Janette's therapist thinks that perhaps Janette found that the refugee camp in the Congo looked more like her childhood than normal life does. It was a beautiful story and you could tell Janette had just shared something incredibly personal with the listening audience. I wanted to hug her.

• Then a prank caller called in and said something about Steve Langford's mother. It was a "baba booey old school call." It was funny, Rosie just kept saying "yeah, but why the mother?! What did the poor mother do! The poor mother just gave birth to a boy with a huge penis." I don't really know anything about Steve Langford so I'm going to have to look into this one and get back to you. Apparently big penises are involved.

• Rosie talked about her squirrel Shady, that she befriended when Steve Erwin died. Jeannie and Jackie (Rosie's longtime BFFs) made fun of Rosie over the squirrel for years apparently. Rosie talked about Shady's unique physical characteristics and how she identifies him. Lou (or Rosie) played the squirrel noise that they recorded that Shady made the other day when he was in the studio.

• Pete called his pediatrician for a referral for an evaluation for his daughter and Jeannie, who is an early intervention speech pathologist, warned Pete that some pediatricians are "not as developmentally savvy as others" so to go on his gut instinct even if the doctor feels the evaluation isn't necessary.

• Janette has finally stopped laughing about the fish oil incident that happened yesterday. Yesterday, Rosie mistakenly rubbed fish oil on her face during the broadcast thinking it was Vitamin E. The funny part was Rosie and the studio's REACTION to this. Janette said it was the funniest thing she's ever seen. Rosie said she took 3 baths - scrubbed, loofahed, and used Axe shampoo trying to get rid of the fishy smell on her face. They replayed the tape from the fish oil moment that happened yesterday.

• Rosie then announced that she would be interviewing Ted Haggard's wife Gayle Haggard who has a book she is promoting (on every channel on the planet) entitled Why I Stayed (good question). Rosie read the entire book yesterday and called it an "interesting book" and called Gayle and "interesting woman."

• Deirdre let Google Pete know that she is awaiting a call back from William Shatner's people to get him in the studio for an interview. That'll be fun for Pete and all you closeted Star Trek fans!

• Rosie took calls from listeners who called in to talk about the upcoming interview she was going to have with Gayle Haggard. One caller was from Colorado and he recalled when Focus on the Family initiative passed in his home state of Colorado and how the church demonized homosexuality. The caller discussed his own disdain yet compassion he felt for Ted. He also talked about the struggle he has had coming to terms with his own sexuality and finding a religion that accepts him.

• One listener who called in wanted Rosie to ask Gayle "Is there anything that he could do that would cause her to leave the marriage?" Rosie thought it was a good question.

• Rosie recalled a fascinating conversation she once had with Hillary Clinton (for a Rosie magazine article that never ran) when Hillary spoke of Bill's infidelity and how she distinguished the difference between people who hurt with the intent to harm and those who are just dealing with their own demons. Rosie had felt for a while that the Feminist ideal would have been for Hillary to "kick him to the curb" but she realized after talking with Hillary that sometimes it takes a stronger person to stay in the marriage. Rosie also said she didn't think a particular sex act defines your sexuality that it's how you identify that does.

• Rosie recommended that the listeners see the documentary "The Trials of Ted Haggard" because it really shows the humanity of what he went through. After she saw the documentary originally she talked to Kelli about wanting to invite Ted Haggard and his family to come live with them. (okay...) Rosie talked about how Ted had invested 30 years of his life into his church and when it came time for him to be the recipient of the generosity and compassion he preached, he was kicked out and shunned.

The Trials of Ted Haggard Trailer

• Rosie then interviewed Gayle Haggard, who was in the studio. Rosie began the interview by asking Gayle about her 22 year old middle child who is diagnosed as developmentally delayed (and possibly on the autistic spectrum somewhere). Gayle told the story of her son and his struggles with speech that continue to this day. Her son is now a rancher in Colorado and is surrounded by a wonderful support group.

• Gayle is one of four children and her father was in the Air Force so she grew up in many different places. Her family wasn't very religious and it wasn't until she was in 9th grade that her parents "came to know the Lord." Rosie and Gayle talked about their own personal relationship and conversations with God. Gayle talked about finding God and her journey to know Him.

• Rosie asked Gayle about other religions and asked if Gayle felt other religions were wrong and hers was the only way to God. Gayle said that she's on the path (to God) and that she feels that has been revealed to her but she can't speak for God and His Grace. Rosie believes any road to God (that has peace and compassion) is a valid one. Gayle kept saying "I won't speak for God" but wouldn't say that other religions are valid either as Rosie wanted her to. She just kept replying "I won't speak for God." In other words, she believes in what the bible says but she won't validate other religions or judge them. I found this line of questioning incredibly frustrating to listen to.

• Rosie asked Gayle about the interview Ted did with a CNN affiliate where he denied doing drugs and having an affair. Watch below:


• Gayle talked about not shunning gay people for their human "condition." Gayle maintained that her husband was never an anti-gay teacher. But that she agreed they didn't know was what it felt like to be in need of mercy and compassion until this happened to them. Every time Gayle said human condition and gay in the same sentence I found it offensive. It was semantics to me. Human condition to Gayle are the sins that we as humans face - homosexuality being one of them. She just never used the word sin. It really frustrated me to hear this and hear Rosie be so willing to allow her own sexuality to be diminished in this way. The interview made me crazy. I'm not sure Rosie was really HEARING what Gayle was saying because she wanted to like her so much.

• Then it was time to talk about Ted's sexuality and how he struggled with sexual thoughts of men his entire life. Ted was sexually molested as a child by a friend of his father's and was wetting his pants and wetting his bed up through the 6th grade. Rosie talked about her own molestation briefly and said she too had bed wetting problems. They talked about the seduction of child molesters and how it is often not an act of violence but disguised as a pleasurable experience, which only further confuses the child.

• Gayle talked about her choice to stay in the marriage despite the struggles Ted faced. She maintained that they "were functioning as a married couple in the bedroom" and he was attracted to both men and women. Rosie said the thought that Ted could only be attracted to men and not at all attracted to women seemed archaic to her.

• Rosie asked Gayle if she could understand how the gay community could be angry and hurt over the things that Ted or his church taught. Rosie talked about not baptizing her own kids in the Catholic church because the church believes there is something wrong with Rosie because she is gay. Gayle said that every human being is equally valuable and we should see each other as having a human condition and God understands that. Rosie asked Gayle if she thinks homosexuality can be cured??? Rosie asked about herself - if Gayle thought Rosie could be cured from her homosexuality. Gayle said it wasn't her place to judge and "It's her journey with God and only God knows her heart." Gayle then compared homosexuality to alcoholism and how it's not right to judge any one's journey or path to God. Rosie clearly differentiated alcoholism from homosexuality by saying "alcoholism is a disease and homosexuality is not a disease." I think it was finally at this point in the interview that Rosie FINALLY got what Gayle was saying that she (like other homosexuals) are on a path to God but the ideal path would be to be straight, not to be gay. FINALLY at the end of the interview I believe Rosie got it. FRUSTRATING.

• Rosie asked if Gayle and Ted started a new church if they would include gay people and have a ministry of tolerance. Gayle said what they finally understand is the church needs a deeper level of compassion for all of our "human conditions." Gayle maintained she would be very welcoming of everyone and slow to ever pass judgement on any human being.

My final thoughts on the interview: I want to just say I love Rosie for all her compassion and acceptance of others. I couldn't have done this interview in such an open-minded way. However, I think Rosie was so full of understanding and compassion towards the Haggards and what their church put them through that she was unable to see that Gayle didn't actually disagree with the church's standpoint on homosexuality (that it is not in God's ideal plan for us as humans), Gayle just didn't agree with shunning people because of it. If Rosie got this, she didn't make it apparent until the end. I think she truly wanted to believe that Gayle was compassionate and accepting of homosexuality but she didn't see that Gayle saw it as a flaw of the human condition - one that is similar to all the battles we face as humans in the eyes of God. These are just my opinions. I would like to know your thoughts on the interview. Was it just me?

• Rosie closed the show wishing their was more time for the interview. Me too.

13 comments:

  1. i like your pink editorial comments Kelly
    your take on the show adds another element
    thanks

    i have only heard the first 20 minutes of today's show
    have American Idol taped (LOL) so I can hear the repeat show at 8
    I"m glad i read this first......the interview sounds fascinating.......even the phrase "ministry of tolerance" isn't enough for me.....tolerance implies that you put up with......acceptance is a kinder term imho

    in Canada the United Church welcomes everyone.....big rainbow stickers on the church doors......i don't go to church but if i did i'd go to a church that passes no judgment

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  2. Kelly, I think you are right. Ro SO wanted to believe the best about this woman, that she gave her a hundred chances to say the RIGHT thing.

    : ) P

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  3. I think Rosie GOT what Gayle was saying. Rosie's incredibly smart and intuitive. However, she was bending over backwards (now there's a visual) and being incredibly compassionate and not calling Gayle on the bull**** sidestepping she was doing. I don't think there was a doubt in any gay person's mind what Gayle really meant by "human condition" was S*I*N.

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  4. I appreciate everyones' opinions on this because I am sick with bronchitis and a sinus infection and thought I was hallucinating!

    Bee, that's exactly what my mom said today when I called her Bitc*ing about this interview - that Rosie is an incredibly smart interviewer and probably knew what she was doing. LOL

    I appreciate the discussion!

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  5. i wish i was listening today...well, maybe i'm glad i didn't bc i think i would have gotten just as frustrated as you.

    i'd love to know what rosie was REALLY thinking while interviewing gayle. hmmmm.

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  6. Kel -

    I listen to Ro during the first two hours at work and after the early chit chat I sat there screaming at the television, whoops, I mean radio - and I WAS AT WORK!

    This woman is delusional if she thinks her husbands "gayness" is cured. He may be working against his NATURE but he is still gay and has his "human condition."

    I was enraged by almost everything Gayle said and am tempted to write Ro.

    I previously caught them on Oprah (not this past time) and I had some empathy for what their church did to them, but these leopards have not changed their spots!

    AMEN TO YOUR TAKE KEL!

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  7. i've now heard the whole show
    my take is this.....Gayle has not changed her spots as you say Gpawilli....."the human condition".....gays in her world can be "tolerated"...offensive term....but would they find their way to god......no...not in her world...
    i don't know the bible but i do know that there are many references in there that do not chastise gays and are positive.....and that the ones that the far right point out are taken out of context to suit their agenda....

    boy this show sure has stirred up some interesting discussion.....go glad we have shared our thoughts on this today

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  8. Kelly, I felt the same frustration. I also believe Rosie's compassion surpassed her intellect during this interview. I don't think Gayle Haggard is the person Rosie believes or wants her to be. Gayle Haggard is not staying with her husband because she's a compassionate human being. Denial is multi-layered and complex. I know. My ex-husband is gay.

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  9. After reading the askro's last night, it seems like many people thought Rosie did a great job with the interview. I guess its true that Rosie knew she couldn't change what Gayle thought about homosexuality, so maybe Rosie just chose not to fight that fight with her.

    It would have just been nice to hear that Gayle accepted that gay people are perfect too in God's eyes rather than implying that homosexuality is the struggle they have been assigned to live out by God. I guess the whole thing just made me sad.

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  10. as a gay person i personally get sick of defending my life ....people need not judge and i did not like the interview with gayle....

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  11. i'm really glad they devoted most of today's show about yesterday's show
    i took it personally and defensively yesterday

    i think Rosie chose to let Gayle think about her beliefs and perhaps question them rather than put her on the defensive

    so i get it a bit better today

    i still don't think Gayle will change her beliefs

    it's just sad as you say Kelly

    i hope that one day the whole gay thing will be a non issue
    i find the younger generation is more open minded.....more gay representation in the media.....actors like Neil Patrick Harris (although outed) working

    there will always be the far right who will never understand it or agree with it
    but more and more people are accepting
    and that is comforting

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  12. I did like today's show a lot better and will be writing a blog about it later. (But my blog won't be posted until later tonight because my kids are home for a snow day.)

    Todays show helped a lot. I just needed to hear Rosie and hear her say that Gayle's thoughts are close-minded. I don't know why, because I knew she felt that way. Hearing her say it made me feel better.

    Its what I love about Rosie, she speaks her mind whether you agree or not! And she's super compassionate. When Rosie said "You have to show compassion to receive it" that was my "ah-ha moment."

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  13. I was also so surprised that Rosie did this interview. But that's Rosie open minded. I think she wanted to understand Gayle. I am slightly fascinated at how many sexually abused children may go on to do the same thing or develop a sexual orientation with the same sex. Is there any connection. Because many many gay adults were abused as children. I did not care for Gayles condescending attitude. And if her husband cannot keep from straying again, God help him in that marriage.

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